This Topic is Archived
FieldsOfLavender (original poster member #39154) posted at 4:10 AM on Saturday, July 6th, 2013
STBX moved out 2 weeks ago. He went away for the long weekend without telling our DD. When we were still a family and prior to our separation, he would tell her when he was going away on a business trip so that she would be ok that he was not here.
This time he went away, I don't think it was a business trip. I figure it was most likely a trip with his whore and he didn't mention anything about going away to her before he left.
My/our DD was crying with such sorrow tonight, it made me cry in front of her. She didn't like that he went away without telling her.
She has hit me, scratched me, and the smallest thing has set her off since stbx moved out.
abigailadams ( member #37556) posted at 4:35 AM on Saturday, July 6th, 2013
I am so sorry to hear that you and your DD are suffering. It is so new if your stbx only moved out a few weeks ago, the wounds for both of you are so fresh.
My daughter has attacked me many times in her rage over the D. We are the ones that our children trust and we get the brunt of their anger. It is really hard. There is no sugarcoating this.
Me BS 55
Him WS 53
Married 10 years together 13
DDay October 11, 2012
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 4:41 AM on Saturday, July 6th, 2013
Oh no FOL! Seems like you and abigailadams are both struggling with your DD's. I am so sorry she is hurting and therefore you are too. Is she in IC? Hugs to you and your DD!
FieldsOfLavender (original poster member #39154) posted at 4:49 AM on Saturday, July 6th, 2013
Is she in IC?
I will start her on IC but it will have to wait until the end of vacation. I would like there to be consistency and not break it up with vacation.
STBX says she will get over it and doesn't feel the need for IC, but finally agreed to it.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:31 PM on Saturday, July 6th, 2013
FOL - I posted some advice on abigail's thread based on my experiences with my DD that may help you and your DD as well. At 7, your DD needs some help in recognizing her emotions and expressing them appropriately.
PM me any time you like. Unfortunately, I've got a wealth of experience with this stuff.
((((fields and DD))))
[This message edited by nowiknow23 at 9:31 AM, July 6th (Saturday)]
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
suckstobeme ( member #30853) posted at 8:55 PM on Saturday, July 6th, 2013
I'm sorry you and your DD are having such a hard time. Please do get her into IC as soon as you can. Do NOT listen to your stbx. She needs it. She needs a safe place to vent and to learn how to cope with her feelings of anger and abandonment and frustration and sadness. He is only trying to assert his own interest - if she goes to IC, he most likely will need to face her at some point. He won't like that and will try to avoid it at all costs. It's not about your DD; he's all about him.
FTG. Get your daughter what she needs. He can shove his "she'll get over it" bullshit.
BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.
This Topic is Archived
