12/27/12 found many, many, many texts from husband to prostitutes for the past 6 months.
Even while I was pregnant. Husband blamed me for his infidelity. Agreed to MC. MC said everything my fault. (I'm not communicating)
Came up with plan to better marriage. Doing plan. Checked husbands phone. More texts to prostitutes.
Our infant daughter was scheduled for brain surgery in April. I told friends I couldn't handle stress of a 6 month old having brain surgery and kicking him out and would wait until after surgery to confront.
4/8/13 surgery is over. Daughter doing better. I'm home for the week. Husbands home for the week. We have a great week together.
4/15/13 checked husband's phone and texts to a prostitute the day before. $225 an hour. $125 half hour. At the time, she was busy with one client who was a 2 minute no sex man but pays for an hour.
I flip out and kick him out. After a few weeks, he agrees to being completely open with everything, and give me access to bank account, phone, emails, everything.
I'm scared to death of divorce and agree. He comes back.
Today, have a follow up visit for our baby's surgery. More surgery may be needed from brain surgery. Husband says he isn't feeling well and wants me to take kids to daycare.
This was at 1100. I call him at 200. He says he hasn't picked up the kids yet because he was at his friends house. Hmmmm.
Daycare calls and says husband just picked up kids at 300. Hmmmm.
Checked integrated text messages online.
Nope. He wasn't at friends house and he wasn't at doctor for being sick.
He contacted 2 prostitutes. One from backpage who's new. And the other one and oldie and a favorite (who apparently they are making a porno together according to text)
This was at work. Shouldn't have checked at work. Shouldn't have.
My heart started racing, it was hard to breathe. I didn't know if I should cry. I'm a supervisor and didn't want my employees to see me crying.
I didn't have anyone to talk to. My boss was out of town so couldn't confide in him.
Found hr, but my person wasn't there. They aren't counselors anyway. One lady was there and she asked if I was ok. I said no and left.
Got to the center floor and couldn't do it. Went back and talked to the hr hiring lady, because I just had to talk to anyone!
She was nice and all. We figured that I feel I am just tolerating his behavior because I can't afford him gone and I just NEED some kind of plan to get him away from me!
She gave me EAP stuff and told me I need to get info on counselors, attorneys and financial advisors for help.
Went out to car. New trainee got real concerned for me. Told her I need to make some calls and asked if she could watch my team.
When I got back in, I found poc to my boss waiting for me. He pulled me aside and told me just to go home.
I started crying and said I don't want to go home to my husband.
I didn't want to talk to him about it. I didn't really know him.
The trainee seen me come back and she pulled me into a room and I just talked about everything to her. I was crying, she was crying- because she had a similar situation with a prior boyfriend.
I told her I feel stuck, I can't afford to kick him out. And then, he is with our daughters and I don't know anymore if he would do anything inappropriate with him, like he does with prostitutes.
And that I'm worried my daughters will end up with guys like him.
And hating the dishonesty and never being able to trust anyone ever again.
And my work is now being impacted by all of this. And if I don't have my job, I'm really screwed!
I came up with a plan to see a counselor to get my head on straight. I'm going to talk to an attorney to make sure I do everything legally. And then, by next week, this porn star is going to be a homeless porn star.
We came up with a funny nickname for him. I wanted to be like Ashland13 and have something condescending, but appropriate, for my husband.
I know call my husband Movie Star (since he is working on a porn film).
This forum helps me out whenever I feel sad.
I just need support and hugs right now.
Thanks for letting me vent and just let it out.
[This message edited by Athena1979 at 10:42 PM, July 5th (Friday)]