I am not the most inspiring person, but I hear you and feel your pain.
The last thing in the world you want to do now is marry a man you think is cheating. He is still lying to you. You should move out or throw his ass out. Until he can be truthful with you, and establish a NC with her.
Keep posting. . . there are many caring people on this site who can help you.
In the meantime, please take a look in the upper left corner, at the yellow box, and click on The Healing Library. Read it. Read any post in this forum that has a bulls-eye next to it. There is some great information there for you, written by people who have been there and gone through hell. Information about what you can expect, what you should demand, and common pitfalls that the B (betrayed) person falls into.
Also, take care of yourself. You need to force yourself to eat whenever and whatever you can, stay hydrated (no booze), and try to get some exercise. If you feel like you're going crazy, your emotions are all over the place, you hate him and love him and hate him, and you are too stunned to make any decisions, understand that this is NORMAL behavior. We call it the rollercoaster. Expect to cycle through a great deal of emotions in a very short amount of time regularly.
Last, I hate to tell you this, but you're going to need to call your doctor on Monday (or any other doctor) and ask for a full STD/HIV test. He's going to have to do the same, and he needs to show you the printed results. You cannot take his word that he has done this and all is OK because, well, he's a liar. And liars lie. And even if he swears on the head of the most beloved person known to him that he used protection each and every time, he still needs to take the test. Because liars lie and, even if he used a condom, there are other ways to transmit disease. I am so very, very sorry to have to type this last paragraph to you.
Please do come back for support. We're all here for you. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012
All I can promise is that it gets better, honey.
Read about the 180 in the Healing library. I believe it could be a great starting point.
I now have a mortgage, kids and compounded problems. I am not saying anything has to be permanent, simply let him know that you are important too. Your feelings count and don't marry him if you still have that sinking sick feeling in your stomach about him seeing another person.
I did not mean to come off as rude or a know it all. I am sorry if you felt that way. Just worried about you
A friend told me she saw him with another woman at the movie theather. Im Completely crushed emotionally he denies any woman
hes giving his all ...
Before he can give you anything of value... he needs to give you the truth. Plain and simple.
The others have given you good advice lily. Read, and read some more! Try to eat something, andthing, milkshakes if nothing else - stay hydrated! Rest whenever you can.
I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through.
BUT - this relationship cannot be fixed, as long as he continues to LIE to you.
Im Completely crushed emotionally he denies any woman but has agreed to fix our Relationship.
What do you plan to do - since he won't even be honest about his affair with with Other Woman?
I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.