I get these a lot, rapid-fire sometimes, one right after the other. He sure doesn't know a lot of things, even though they are about himself. Obviously, they are avoidance answers, but not really avoiding, because the questions are going to keep being asked, amillion times to get the answers. That's what I don't understand. Why don't they look forward and see for themselves that they are going to hear that question again and again and again and that any relief they feel from IDK is sooo temporary and by the way painful and frustrating to us BSs. Can someone really live so in the moment all the time? How do you get them to change this dynamic? Why isn't learned behavior working when they hear the same question again and again?
He says, if I don't know the answer I don't want to lie so I say I don't know. (sometimes even before I am done asking the question so....)
I think about myself if I don't know an answer someone asks me.
I think, and if I do say IDK but I still want to be helpful, I tell them all the ancillary info that I DO know....well I don't know the answer for sure but...I remember this happend right before or I know I felt this at the time or ....this happened at another time that is similar ....you get the drift...
What do you do? Keep pounding your head against a wall? I tell him that is what it feels like....trying to move forward and being slammed down with a wall right in front of your path, no detour, no door, no side gate, no new path proposed.