SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Today is one of those days.

I can't pinpoint any one thing, but I'd like to rip wh head off.

Then I'd like to call chickie's new husband and see if he knows.

Then I'd like to break a few plates again.

I want wh to feel so rotten today about this whole stinking mess that he falls in a puddle at my feet and begs forgiveness.

Pretty much I am angry all over again and I just want a life without this sh*tty drama.

I want to be the happy, calm, contented mom/person I used to be before wh got stupid. I know that life wasn't truth, but right now it is mighty appealing. Not the year I was investigating but the years before that.

That is how I feel today too. The husband is at work which triggers me. I think about how I need to tell the cow's bf. but I know it's out of revenge because I want to make her hurt the way I do. I want him to dump her ass and send her back home to her family so she can explain to tell why he dumped her.

I want to just curl up I'm a ball and cry.

I want to go for a run, go to dinner, watch a movie, and be alone.

But I can't wait to be happy again.

I barely slept last night. H had to leave this morning and will be working out of town, hopefully returning Monday. I've been dealing with out of town work relatively well lately, so I'm not sure why this trip is getting to me so badly (it isn't even close to the town where his 3 out of town OW encounters were). I hate the days where I feel like I'm moving backwards. I always tell him what's going on and try to remind myself that the down cycles don't last forever.

Yeah. I'm in that fun anger stage now too.

One thing I've been slow to learn though is that no matter how much you may want someone to feel your pain, you can't make them. You can express your anger to them, but it isn't going to make them feel bad for what they did. It's just going to make them resent you. You just end up hurting yourself more.

Can't say I know what the best outlet for this kind of anger is in this case. Letting it out on your spouse does no good. Letting it out on a poor innocent pillow is also fairly unsatisfying. Maybe the best we can do is just to manage it until it gradually fades away.

..at 4+ years out, still having sad days, ..then some days where the anger and rage toward the OM(bf) arrives..

..lucky for him, he's dead!

..now i only get to piss on his grave and do the happy-dance

..time.....??

manage it until it gradually fades away.

..but somehow.... the "stink" lingers!!!

smy

I ended up walking like a crazy person yesterday. It helped.
Swimming 15 laps didn't hurt either.

Wh patiently listened - but I wonder if the waywards can ever 'get it'.