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Newest Member: Brokeninnm38 (61788)

User Topic: Advice needed stbxwh might be up to something
♀ 29289
Member # 29289
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, July 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The final Divorce hearing is on the 16th of July. I've been nervous about it but now I am even more so as my DD just called me to tell me that STBXWH got "laid off from his job" ... I think more along the lines of fired but that is beside the point.

Why am I nervous, we filed jointly and agreed STBXWH would keep the house and all the marital debt ... I got to take what I wanted from the house and I didn't want alimony. I have made sure my name is off all the bills so no worry there ...

I am just wondering if he will go to court (as I will be there via phone since I moved out of state) and cry poverty now since he "lost" his job ... I just don't know what I can say or do other then being nervous basically I am scared as hell!

Any advise is greatly will be appreciated

Posts: 422 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Back Home ... And feeling Great!!
♀ 34146
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, July 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My advice is not to borrow trouble. I can't think of anything you can do at this point (you could call your lawyer to discuss, but it seems silly to waste money at this point when it may not even happen and you'd need more details as to how to proceed anyway.)

Enjoy yourself and try not to think about it. Cross that bridge when you actually come to it!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 4491 | Registered: Dec 2011
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, July 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should give your lawyer a heads' up notice about the change in employment status.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 29289
Member # 29289
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, July 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are no lawyers involved ... We filed the paperwork ourselves as there was no need for a lawyer until this moment. And now with me being out of state already I just don't know what to do or if there is anything I can do when the time come ... I guess the best I can hope for is he keeps his mouth shut and lets everything remain as we filed. If he does cry poverty and my name is no longer on the debt can the judge make me make the payments? Since I am basically starting over and just got a job that doesn't start til August ... I just don't know

Posts: 422 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Back Home ... And feeling Great!!
♀ 23890
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, July 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If he tries to change up the game plan at the 11th hour, you ask the judge for a continuance as these are not the terms you agreed to and you now need to retain counsel.

btw: I'd insist on a mutual waive on alimony.

And you should have time to consult an atty (by phone if need be) to ask questions about mutual debt. What happens if your STBX doesn't pay the mortgage? My D papers address this, as in my case X is still on the mortgage but filed a quit claim deed. If I fail to meet the mortgage payment he has recourse as to the house...

I'd be faxing your current agreement to a local atty to look over before court either way... It would be worth a few hundred to make sure they are sound.

[This message edited by Take2 at 5:27 PM, July 6th (Saturday)]

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4432 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
♀ 29289
Member # 29289
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, July 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Take2 for the sound advice.

In Wisconsin, when a divorce is file jointly with no minor children there is an appointed county attorney that handles these case (I believe just like a mediator does) I have spoken with the WI county attorney who does this, and she is still assigned to the case as my last checking on the net. My dilemma is that she is the best attorney in the county and I am not sure I can go to her since she is still on the docket. The only other attorney I know there is my/now his next door neighbor ... I hate small rural towns.

But at least I know what to do now thank you

Posts: 422 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Back Home ... And feeling Great!!
♀ 32265
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 6:12 AM, July 7th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ann, sent you a PM.

Divorced 1/3/14 after 31 years of marriage.

Posts: 645 | Registered: May 2011
Topic Posts: 7

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