Tonight he calls, talks to them and DS7 hands me back the phone. He says, "I tried calling early and didn't get an answer." Um... sorry. I was busy. I didn't even hear my phone ring. The set time was 8pm. I can't put my life on hold because you called at 7:15pm. Then he starts bitching about work this, work that. Guess what? Go bitch to your girlfriend! I'm sure she is working with you right now! I literally say nothing. Finally, he must have gotten the point that I wasn't going to respond. So, he says, "Okay, well, I will call you about picking them up tomorrow." All I could say was, "Okay. Bye." And I hung up.
Its killing me to have to be like this but he can't have it both ways. And, its too fresh for me to act nice to him. He is lucky I'm answering him at all. The only reason I'm being civil is because of those kids!
Why did he have to do this... again!? I will never understand. And I feel so pathetic that part of me is hoping that he will change his mind and come back. I know... its just part of the rollercoaster ride. I've been on this crazy ride before. But, the last time, I had his support. He wanted things to work out or atleast he said he did. This time he is choosing the OW over me and our sons. I have to 180 him. For my own sanity. Unless it deals with the boys, I can't be dragged back in.
[This message edited by hangingontohope7 at 7:35 PM, July 6th (Saturday)]
Burn everything love then burn the ashes.
You are doing the right thing. No, you can't just stay put in case he "might" call early. No, you don't want to talk to him about his life. The 180 is your friend.
Get your pat answers set in your head.
That is no longer your concern (when he tries to tell you how to do something)
This is what divorce looks like. This is what you wanted.
I don't wish to discuss that.
F YOU! (but keep that one in your head)
Keep going. You can make it.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
Three months ago we were a happy family, we just had twin boys of 9 months old. Now he wants to be with this girl, 20 yrs younger after chatting for two months, abandon his kids and 10 yrs marriage, Nobody will never understand Why!!!
But guess what? His loss, one day he will wake up and regretted what he had done to his children! Or die alone by himself as the girl won't stay with the old man forever!
We do not deserve the crap, we deserve way better.
Is there any way to cut back the contact with him a bit? I think having him call nightly us just too much at this time. How about every other night or something? You need a mental break from having to hear him or deal with him in any way. I'm so sorry this is happening to you and just know that you are not alone. We are here for you, so please rage and vent here all you want. Keep up the 180 and NC other than kids and finances. The pain will dull over time.
[This message edited by Blackhair at 1:16 AM, July 7th (Sunday)]
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.
Keep it up!
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling