My son has not heard from his Dad or really spent any time with him since the day he was busted for his secret apartment and moved out (Dec. 17th). No phone calls, visits etc. If WH came over for some reason, he ignored DS. Last weekend, WH called and said he wanted a relationship with his son, admitted that he was partially to blame for their non-existent connection and ORDERED me to have him ready at 9am this morning for him to take DS out. DS and I discussed this and my son is adament he will not go anywhere alone with WH.
I told WH he needed to talk to his DS about this earlier this week. WH responded that he did not need to talk to DS, he is a child (12 years old) and will do wat he is told.. DS is very angry at his Dad and this caused alot of upheaval. DS has had nightmares, walked and talked in his sleep ( he is normally a very happy, easy going kid), I took him to see a therapist cause he was so upset about how to deal with his father's upcoming visit. Therapist told me that it was my duty to discuss this with WH, not my son's. That is hard cause WH blames me..anyway after all this, DS does tell his father he will not leave the house with him, but he can visit him at home. WH calls and says he is NOT coming, spews 30 minutes of verbal abuse and hangs up. This morning, WH calls at 9:45 like nothing happened and apologizes that he is going to be late, says he is coming over at 12 to see DS. He gets here at 12:45, spends 15 minutes w/ DS playing a video game and then leaves w/ DD, who strokes his ego. When he returned, he told DS goodbye and just left.
I don't want to jump in and be mama bear, but I don't see any benefit for my son from a relationship with his Dad. I do not want my son to have to ride this coaster.
I apologize that this is all over the place...I just don't know wat to do. I think I am trying to protect my son from future hurt, but am worried that I am letting my issues w/ WH affect my judgement as to his relationship w/ my son....I don't want to hurt my son. He does not trust his father. Does anyone have experience with this issue?