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Completely lost it this evening, 180 went out the window. What was a simple trip to walmart turned into a yelling crying match that I am sure made me look like an idiot. We got there just fine, parked fine. Then all h*ll broke lose! He made mentioon that a friend of ours had kicked her boyfriend out last week. I asked when he was going to tell me since he had known since it happened. He bit my head off! Said it was her life why did he need to tell me! Well that triggered BIG! I snapped, and told him that since he cheated, he was to tell me everything, he needed to be an open book. I yelled at him about deleting texts off his phone, told him he better be able to back his self up from now on! I told him he was lucky i didnt make him log bathroom trips! I told him he wasnt doing enough for me, and he better start. Told him if he wanted to sleep around he could, but not as my husband! Told him I wanted a divorce, took my wedding ring off put it in his door, and proceeded to march my butt towards the highway across the parking lot. As he starts the truck, and creeps along behind me crying and begging me to get in the truck. People watching and all and i didnt care. I flipped him off and kept walking. And he kept following, yelling he was sorry that he hurt me, that he loves me, he will do anything if i just talk to him. So, i get back in the truck (my names on the title to) and i proceed to climb down his throat. I remind him why i am upset, that i told him to leave if he wanted his lil whore, and he begged to stay. I told him his actions better start showing it. Here we are at home, hes writing me a letter telling me why he wants to stay and why I should let him. This should be good.

Looks like you found your bitch boots!
Don't take them off just yet.

I hope the letter helps, even if it hurts at first (((hugs)))

I totally get it...I once walked 10 miles back home after I ditched him.

My feet hurt for a week. I am crazy.

He did get that I was mad.

Sometimes you gotta shake 'em up.

That reminds me of one day I lost it big time. He walked out in the middle of an argument and drove off. I followed him to the dry cleaner and blocked him in his parking spot so he couldn't leave and I gave it to him right there in front of everyone. Shortly thereafter, I had the locks on our house changed. e fouynd a way in and changed one of the locks without my Knowing about it. It was a terrible time and didn't get better for a long time. He was still drinking so it was a hopeless cause for a long time.

I kinda felt bad for losing it like that at the time. I felt like I should have been more dignified. But honestly, in hind sight, I think I should have been a way bigger bitch than I was. He was dragging our family through hell and his leaving for good would have been far less damaging than our putting up with having him around when he was still drinking. There was no chance of working on our M or dealing with the damage his A caused until he was well into sobriety.

[This message edited by Ladyogilvy at 11:04 AM, July 7th (Sunday)]

Go you!! Don't ever feel bad for your reactions, it's not your fault you're having these feelings, it's his!! He did this.

Yay! I dont feel so alone. Im not the only one to have exploded in public! I feel a bit stronger today. He is sulking around like a wounded animal. He keeps getting teary eyed, and says he feels like he has the flu. Boohoo! Not getting sympathy here. Oh "the letter" was a joke. All he did was write the same things hes said. Hes "sorry" he made a "mistake" he was "stupid" and "promises it will never happen again" he "loves me so much" and "hates to see me upset"..can u say bullshyt!!! It was a "mistake", they had time to plan it! "Stupid", ok mabe, but yet smart enough to hide it! "It wont happen again", hmmm never should have happened too start! And blah blah blah. And i pointed out that iit is just words. His actions mean nothing yet.