I was quiet and when we got into bed he said he knew something was bothering me and I finally said " you are the first person in my life I cant trust". He rolled over and said that hurt and refused to talk.
I refuse to let him see me cry and am PISSED so I'm sitting in the hallway as my oldest son is downstairs. Screw this, it's his own fault!!!!!! Ugh!!!! I hope he sleeps like a baby - not!
Finally this is R 8/14/13
"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".
He rolled over and said that hurt and refused to talk.
It was alright for him to hurt you though??, what he did goes way beyond hurt. It's funny how they forget that. He should have apologized to you instead of saying that you hurt him.
He just does not get it.
He has proved himself a liar and a cheat, of course you can't trust him. Once again, its "blame-shift" time. I am sorry you are going through this.
He needs to own what he did, and step up to giving you what you need to heal.
It hurts *him* that you can't trust him??
Im betting it hurts YOU a whole helluva lot more.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
I put all my anger and sadness into my journal instead of bringing it all on him but when something is eating at me he doesn't rest until he knows what it is. :/
Yes he hurt you, that's true but if you really want to R, you will have to learn not to beat him over the head with it all the time
Yes, you are right, jjsr, but Princess is still very early in R and her emotions are still very raw. Her H, and yours need to learn to take it like a man (at least for a while) if they want to R.
D-day #1 Jan 31 2007
D-Day #2 March 25 2007
Roll on Roll on Roller Coaster
We're one day older and one step closer
Roll on there's mountains to climb
Roll on we're on borrowed time
Working on Re
when you dont talk about it, or only journal it, or only talk to you ic about it, or try not to rock the boat, upset him, or think that talking about it will put the r at risk...is all bad news. each one of the "talks" you have can be gut wrenching..but that only brings the 2 of you closer to healing. yes, he is uncomfortable, ashamed, and embarrassed...and he may even be crying too...but he should be, you know? you feel all the same things he feels magnified by 100. and that is the truth.
personally, i feel that it is about the cheater manning up...and taking it. because in the end, this is about him doing everything he can to help you heal right now.
you are a few months out from him cheating on you again....there is no way in the world you are not going want to bring this up all the time....no way.
if you want to go there...go there...and dont be afraid of him leaving you. you are not putting your r at risk. if he bails, or doesnt want to talk about it because it makes HIM upset...then you never were in r in the first place.
hugs to you...and be strong...
he knew something was bothering me and I finally said " you are the first person in my life I cant trust".
Yeah they don't get this part until later, when they don't have it anymore
When my WH asks why I need the GPS on his iphone I tell him it is because I cannot trust him at all at the moment. He knows why.
I put all my anger and sadness into my journal instead of bringing it all on him
You should direct the anger where it belongs, at your WH. Are you truly able to release and move past the anger that you have for your WH by keeping it from him and journaling about it?
For me I needed to blast my WH for what he did. There was never any brain to mouth editing for me. If I felt it I said it. I never once cared about how it made my WH feel....It was NOT about him. I was true to myself.
I firmly believe that this enabled me to process the hurt and move forward. I pretty much said and did whatever my heart/mind felt at the time...suppress nothing.
Today, 2.5+yr we are in a much better place. The bad days are far and few between and I feel *normal* again.
What's wrong with him? This is your 2nd dday ((Princess)) ~ Seriously, why should you trust him? He is delusional if he can't/won't grasp that truth.
He needs to put HIS feelings aside and make YOU his #1 priority. Always.
[This message edited by RidingHealingRd at 6:26 PM, July 8th (Monday)]
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.