I hadn't seen him since he left for the training school where he met the OW/GF. He moved to Oregon to be with her, driving past where the kids were with my parents without even stopping to see them.
He refused to give me his GF's address so my lawyer could serve him with the divorce complaint. When I finally got it from him, he said he wanted to come down to visit the kids. It's a 10 hour trip each way, but while he was in training with the GF, he was "too busy" to take a five hour drive to come visit us at home. Not to mention, it would have been only an hour out of his way to see the kids when he was driving cross country.
Anyway, he came down for the 4th and 5th. It was not as bad as I had prepared myself for, but still pretty bad. According to him, the divorce is all my fault. He told the kids this. He forgets that I offered him a 3rd (4th?) chance in early February that if he wanted to move to Cali with me and see if we could work things out, he just had to end it with the OW/GF, but he said he didn't want to. He told me I'll always be unhappy. That I'm emotionally needy. That one made me laugh, as he's the one who had affairs when he felt I wasn't "adoring" him anymore.
The visit was surreal. We had moments where we laughed like we were still best friends and lovers. But then he'd do things that reminded me why I'm going down this road. I cried a lot after he left. Not because I missed him or wanted him back, but because I missed the dream of what I thought we were going to have.
Now he's back in Oregon, living with his 21 year old girlfriend and her 18 year old brother. No job, is too "good" for a minimum wage job that would help him support his kids. He's not the man I thought I married, at least not anymore.