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Today is the day I said I do. For the past week, i haven't been myself due to being caught in the cycle of thinking wedding anniversary doesn't mean anything. Look at what happened. I don't want to celebrate being cheated on and still staying.

This morning wh asks if I am ok. I say no. He replies do you just want me to leave the house? I am floored by it. Sadness and crying insue then anger hits. I have repeatedly asked for comfort and apologies when I am like this. He rarely delivers. Tells me he can't. I hear I won't. He says he doesn't have 2-5 years to wait for me to getover it. He ddoesn't want to be around someone who is sad and moody.

Thank you wh for making a shitty day even shittier. As if I don't feel horrible enough, please add to it. I hope you enjoy reading this. I know you lurk on here but obviously that hasn't done much to help.

What an a$$hole! I've gotten a lot of the same emotionally retarded responses from my WH. When will these guys learn that it's in their own self interest to be a real man, take responsibility for their mistakes and make amends? The longer they take to man up, the more damage they cause. We can choose to heal on our own but that would require being on our own and not having the trigger of an unremorseful spouse around. You will get better with him or without him. Given that he's already decided to be a jerk today, I suggest you go out and do something special for yourself, maybe invite a girlfriend.

[This message edited by Ladyogilvy at 11:13 AM, July 7th (Sunday)]

I just started ic. The c told me my marriage may not survive me getting stronger. Honestly I don't know what to think about that. I have had nine months of dealing by myself. I am tired. So very tired. I can't do it alone anymore, I can't stay where I am at emotionally. I don't know if I can do anything. Currently crying my eyes out alone in the bedroom. Told wh if he can't do anything I asked at least take care of the kids so they don't see me like this.

Another fun thing he said. He is tired of the family being dictated by my moods. It is so easy to blame me and not his own actions that help set off the rollercoaster.

I'm so sorry. (((blameitontherain)))

You deserve so much more. Particularly on your wedding anniversary

I went out and did something by myself. The gps on my phone (we both have it ) registered as me being at a bar. I wasn't but technology isnt always accurate. Wh texted asking if that was where I was. It showed I was there for 2 hours. I wonder if he was worried.