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I dreamt that XwH wanted to give me a special gift of a locket. In the dream I was somehow still w X while dating SO for 3 years. X's voice was all soft and sweet as he handed me the necklace. Very much like he was IRL. But the glass on the cover of the locket was cracked, and inside were a few words and images that were jumbled. You could rearrange the words and images to make your own meaning.

IRL I haven't seen XH in 4 years. We've talked on the phone 2x, and there have been a few brief, business-like emails. My psyche still seems to be trying to work something out about X. The dream seems to say that I will never really know how X felt about me in our 20 year relationship, he gave me something broken and I can give the relationship whatever meaning I want to (by rearranging the words on the locket). It's just a busted puzzle.

The amazing subconscious....

Trying to work out the past, is a puzzle, through dreams. It is like having a few important pieces missing.

The last dream I had of FT, I woke laughing because he's having a baby with Twat.

I was WTF are YOU thinking at 74 yrs old ?????

I usually wake up laughing too. And thinking 'wtf'.

Waffle has been in my dreams a lot in the last couple of days and I usually wake up disturbed. It is always us together, but not sexual (thank god). There were two that were vivid. One where we were just standing there and holding me, without saying anything. It just feltcomfortable in the dream, confusing when I woke up. The other one, he was carrying me by piggy back across the parking lot outside the autism school (I am there daily in real life) saying "i'd forgotten how easy this is", then saying "what are we going to do now?" when we got back to the car.

I hate when dreams make you more confused when you wake up than when you went to sleep. Apparently my subconscious has not gotten the message.