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Mojo worked! Want some wedding details?

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tryingagain74 posted 7/7/2013 21:31 PM

Thank you! I was calm, happy, totally normal, and able to hear the details from my kiddos without getting upset. Thank you for your mojo!

In fact, all I felt was pity. Here's what went down:

Apparently, the Ashley Madison lovers got married about 2.5 hours away at one of the places where they used to secretly screw! Isn't that romantic? The five kids got to spend five hours in the car today driving to and from this most illustrious wedding destination.

The people attending The Wedding in the Middle of Nowhere were: the nasty couple, their children who were forced to attend, a friend of the bride's, and a friend of the groom's! It's so nice to be able to have such a small and intimate wedding because you have so few friends, and your family members who were at your original wedding aren't attending this one because they don't see it as an event that's actually worth attending.

While there was an actual photographer hired, there apparently wasn't any sort of reception. I suppose it's not worth it to have a meal when so few people are showing up. You'd just be burdened with leftovers. ETA: Apparently, there was cake. DS #1 said that it was gross. The frosting was apparently chocolate; I think that brown is an appropriate color for a Sparkly Turd Wedding.

DD came home with a giant, wilted peony stuck to the side of her head that I can only describe as trashy looking (and I like peonies). The boys wore... rented outfits... not tuxes... button-down shirts, shorts, and formal shoes? Nothing says "romantic wedding" like rented shorts.

When my kids got home, they seemed tired. DS #1 acted like the wedding was no big deal-- like they had gone grocery shopping. DS #2 said he was sad because he didn't want his dad to marry the wifetress; he wants his dad to remarry me. DD said she liked her dress but then later told me that she doesn't want to share a bedroom with her stepsister. I was bracing myself for all kinds of happy news, but I was instead surprised by their muted responses. That probably helped me stay calm and upbeat.

So, the whole wedding sounded depressing. Maybe XWH and Wifetress will be happy together-- they clearly don't have anyone else, and I think they regard the children almost as nuisances. I'm sure that they will stay sparkly with each other for a while (especially since XWH is on a buying spree lately, according to the kids-- he's getting his darling bride all new kitchen appliances even though the old ones work just fine). As long as they continue to avoid me, that suits me just fine-- they'll probably be nice to the kids while their heads remain up their asses in Unicorn Fantasy World.

Last night, my gal pals and I had a champagne toast to my freedom. Boy, it certainly feels good.

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 10:09 PM, July 7th (Sunday)]

caregiver9000 posted 7/7/2013 21:36 PM

That is the best wedding "announcement" article I have ever read!

The nasty couple...

I bet your kids are tired and glad to be home. Nothing like a long car ride to a "fancy" get up where they have to be quiet and well behaved to be followed by another long car ride.

Thanks for the update. Glad you were calm and upbeat.

nowiknow23 posted 7/7/2013 21:38 PM

That is truly pitiful. Congrats on your continued freedom, honey. I'll raise a toast along with you.

Nature_Girl posted 7/7/2013 21:38 PM


Take2 posted 7/7/2013 21:48 PM

haha haha ha (imagine this laughter coming from beavis and butthead)

ButterflyGirl posted 7/7/2013 21:57 PM

Rented shorts???

Seems appropriate actually. I don't see anything permanent about that union

So glad you are off that crazy train!!

tryingagain74 posted 7/7/2013 22:07 PM

Take2, that's awesome.

"Huh huh. Huh huh huh. That wedding sounds totally lame."

Housefulloflove posted 7/7/2013 23:33 PM

The poop colored wedding cake seems most appropriate. I bet that tacky wedding will be the highest point of the entire marriage.

dmari posted 7/7/2013 23:49 PM

Pathetic wedding. I'm happy you happily endured the details from kiddos!

peridot posted 7/8/2013 02:12 AM

What a pathetic wedding!!!

Sad in AZ posted 7/8/2013 06:45 AM

Maybe you should have an "Anti-wedding Party" for the kids (of course, you won't call it that.) Get a cake that they like, some sparkling juice (plus Mommy juice ) and toast to the fact that they are home and have the rest of summer vacation to enjoy.

painpaingoaway posted 7/8/2013 07:21 AM

I think that brown is an appropriate color for a Sparkly Turd Wedding.

Kajem posted 7/8/2013 08:17 AM

^^^^^^wedding party favors!

Glad your kids are home and with you and talking to you about it while they process the event.



haysuth01 posted 7/8/2013 09:05 AM

Why do these people even have weddings??? White dress and all... kind of a moot point, isn't it?? Not that I was a virgin when I married but I wasn't marrying my previously-married lover.

My XH and Wifetress spent themselves into some heavy debt to get married. On the beach in Hawaii, where only her mom and sister and his sister could afford to attend. They couldn't even take our son because they spent so much on the reception to be held when they got home... at a race track. With a photo booth and catering and a second ceremony and everything. Videographer AND photographer, you name it. Just had to prove they were legit.

Almost two years later and they keep going through what I call the Cycle of Hell... threaten to divorce, try to work it out, threaten to divorce, try to work it out....

What a good investment.

suckstobeme posted 7/8/2013 11:28 AM

THAT is what I would call a popcorn fart. You're expecting this big explosion and all you get is a little pop.

Funnyhow they go to the trouble of promoting all the hype for months like its going to be the second coming the day they make this sick relationship legal. And that's what you get? A sweaty car ride with annoyed kids in rented uniforms and cake. Wow.

Let the fun begin.

TrustGone posted 7/8/2013 11:38 AM

Well all you can do is hope they live unhappily ever after with each other. The glitter will wear off and get everywhere and then real life and marriage will move in like it always does and it won't look so sparkly anymore. Here's a toast to your freedom from that dumbshit. (((HUGS)))

tesla posted 7/8/2013 11:40 AM

So happy that you were able to take it so well. I love's such a let down to what we've built up in our minds.

tryingagain74 posted 7/8/2013 12:33 PM

Thanks again, everyone. It's cathartic to write it all down here and view it through a humorous lens.

I am in a much better mood than I have been in for weeks! The kids and I "celebrated" last night with ice cream that they actually liked (and which only involved about three minutes of driving), and we're going to hit the community pool today with an at-home movie night later. I think I shall celebrate all week! Maybe it's time to finally buy that NB ring...

Lola2kids posted 7/8/2013 12:41 PM

I'm so glad that it was anticlimatic for you trying.

I can only hope the same for myself...
I just found out about an hour ago that ex is engaged to DOW (now divorced OW).

[This message edited by Lola2kids at 12:41 PM, July 8th (Monday)]

tesla posted 7/8/2013 13:55 PM

Maybe it's time to finally buy that NB ring...

Hells to the yeah!
I think it should fit your middle finger so that you can give dopey the proper salute.

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