Dday was only 5 months ago, so while I am not crazy angry like I was initially, the pain is still fresh. I mean, it was devestating because our relationship has been pretty good for years now.
But the thing is, I know the A ended immediately and he has completely changed. He is back to the man I first met, the man I fell in love with, the man he was before I broke his heart.
Truth is, prior to our marriage, I had a R with om during a time we werent together. My now H was absolutely devastated. I immediately ended the r with om when i saw the reaction from my now.h. It breaks my heart to think about it even now, 10 years later. I later found out my now h had been planning to propose. Instead, he started drinking heavilly, walked away from his religion, started doing drugs, started having ons. He broke. And it was my actions that pushed him down that path.
I did not sweep his A under the rug, but when it started, our relationship was toxic.
I didn't know about the drugs until dday. But he was alcoholic, and I hated his drinking. Heck, I didn't even know how bad the drinking was until after we were married. I didn't know how to deal with it, I told him I was going to divorce him. This is when A began, and this woman was obsessed with him, made her whole world about him. This is in her words.
I have made it clear that any further contact with her will result in divorce. I have made it clear I will not forgive another A.
And most times I am ok. I know he is doing everything he needs to now...but I just feel this anger from time to time (daily?) about the lies.
[This message edited by DriveMeCrazy at 5:04 PM, July 8th (Monday)]