Its been less than 2 weeks since DDay #2.
I am just a jumble of emotions. Its been 5 years since DDay #1 and I had almost forgotten how horrible this feels... almost.
After DDay #1 he wanted to R and so I didn't really tell anyone, besides immediate family, what he had done. I didn't want people to look at him differently. And, I guess if I'm being honest, I didn't want people to think I was a fool for staying.
But now there is very little hope of R. I have asked him if he is sure this is what he wants, to be with this OW. He says it isn't about her, that we weren't working and that divorce is for the best. Talk about a serious fog.
I feel so hurt and rejected. It is taking all my strength not to expose him to the world for the lying cheater he is. Why do I feel like I need to some how protect him? I have been telling myself to take the high road, to think about what is best for the kids, to not make myself look like the "crazy wife." But, it seems so unfair that he gets to rip our marriage and family to shreds and I have to put a smile on my face. He has no clue the devastation he has caused. And, right now, I want him to feel the pain and humiliation that I feel. Me: BW
DDay #1 Tried R
DDAY #2 Divorcing
Burn everything love then burn the ashes.