I guess that should be Happy??? Anniversary. I've been married for 30 years today. I could watch the video, but why? To see the promises we made that only I kept? To see the drastic difference between then and now? Why torture myself? He has a favorite saying, "It is what it is." And it certainly is.
A few weeks ago our youngest son graduated from HS. In a few weeks, we'll be grandparents for the first time. And in the middle is our 30th anniversary. Sadly, today all it means is that I had a good marriage for less than 11 years, and spent the rest with a giant broom sweeping the shit under the rug.
But I don't plan to have a pity party today. H is out of town (yes, on our 30th anniversary), so tonight is girls night. Most of them have no idea how significant this day is...that's the way I want it.
But I'm not as strong as I sound. As I write this, I'm thinking about telling everyone I'm sick and just sitting at home. Geesh! How did a nice (and sane) girl like me end up such a freakin' mess? ~L