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Newest Member: RisingAbovePain (61843)

User Topic: New here: Happy Anniversary to me
♀ 39764
Member # 39764
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, July 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess that should be Happy??? Anniversary. I've been married for 30 years today. I could watch the video, but why? To see the promises we made that only I kept? To see the drastic difference between then and now? Why torture myself? He has a favorite saying, "It is what it is." And it certainly is.

A few weeks ago our youngest son graduated from HS. In a few weeks, we'll be grandparents for the first time. And in the middle is our 30th anniversary. Sadly, today all it means is that I had a good marriage for less than 11 years, and spent the rest with a giant broom sweeping the shit under the rug.

But I don't plan to have a pity party today. H is out of town (yes, on our 30th anniversary), so tonight is girls night. Most of them have no idea how significant this day is...that's the way I want it.

But I'm not as strong as I sound. As I write this, I'm thinking about telling everyone I'm sick and just sitting at home. Geesh! How did a nice (and sane) girl like me end up such a freakin' mess? ~L

He had a long-term affair. I found out 5-years after. We're divorcing after 30 years of marriage (10 of them happy ones). I'm just trying to find my way.

Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 36130
Member # 36130
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, July 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Please don't cancel your night out w/friends. Push yourself out the door. I promise you'll be glad you did.

excerpt from an awesome quote "Forgiveness - the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past."

Posts: 1073 | Registered: Jul 2012
♀ 37476
Member # 37476
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, July 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go out! With friends or by yourself if you don't feel like having a group setting. I completely understand avoiding friends sometimes. I avoid because I sometimes too consumed with the negative thoughts and don't want to be that person also complaining about their H.

Yesterday was my 11th anniversary. I did not want to celebrate. WH could not understand this. Of course he wanted to. I kept my vows, he didn't, but I still stayed so wahoo! For him!!! Not so much for me. He asked if I am always going to to avoid that date and never celebrate. I have no clue but cut me some slack and let me be sad on the first anniversary since dday.

I went out by myself. It was nice to have some me time. Please do something. Celebrate the person of integrity that you are.

Posts: 273 | Registered: Nov 2012
♀ 38765
Member # 38765
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, July 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go out...if they are all your friends...let it out and toast to 30 years of you being amazing despite the dead weight you have had around you!

Posts: 304 | Registered: Mar 2013
Topic Posts: 4

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