Anyway, backstory. I exercise regularly but I realized that I'm going to have to get my diet under control if I'm actually going to meet my goal. So I was chatting with a coworker in the breakroom a couple of weeks ago and mentioned that I am going to go back on MFP. Now, this lady is about 60, very petite (MAYBE five feet tall), and weighs probably 105-110 soaking wet. Small woman. So she asked me what MFP was and I explained (it's an online calorie tracker). She told me that she doesn't believe in things like that that tell you how much you should eat. She said, "For instance, take you - you're big-boned, you would need more calories."
Well, truth is - I'm NOT big-boned. I have a medium-sized frame. If I APPEAR to be big-boned, it's because I've gained weight. Not because my bones are big.
I know she didn't mean to be hurtful, and she's a nice lady, but I almost just can't even talk to her now. It's not because I'm mad. It's just because every time I see her, I wonder if she's thinking that I'm this big corn-fed hulk of a woman, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I have body issues anyway, and just seeing her makes me feel huge and ugly now.
I think I'm being ridiculous. I don't know how to get over it other than to just lose weight.
Don't let what anybody else says make you feel negatively about yourself. You are beautiful, inside and out, and that's all that matters.
I've seen pictures of you. You are beautiful inside and out!!
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Never be so focused on what you're looking for that you overlook the thing you actually find.”
Hey, I gotta big bone for ya
Ahhhh the sensitivities of guys....
It sounds like she was trying to tell you not to worry about your weight but did so in a really clumsy way.
People without weight issues really have no idea how hurtful some comments might be!
[This message edited by InnerLight at 9:02 PM, July 8th (Monday)]
[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 9:13 PM, July 8th (Monday)]
And my H's comment cracked me up because we are both at the mental age of 14.
I have found since having the kids weight is even more of a challenge, and since I've turned 40, even more of a challenge. My mom tells me that it gets worse, when the estrogen is all gone. I can't flipping wait.
Keep up the good work. I do a lot of health coaching in my current job, and lots of folks are successful using MFP. So keep up the good work, stick to it, and remember, you didn't gain the weight overnight, it happened over a period of time, so expect it to come off over a period of time too.
she is obviously an Elf.
Yes, she is an elf!
What the hell does 'big-boned' mean anyway? I don't really even know.
I understand short, medium, and tall frames.
Aren't all adult bones all about the same size? (Unless someone has a bone disease or something).
Jana, I think she was an elf, and comparatively speaking, I guess anyone larger than she was, she considered 'big'.
I've had people tell me that I am tall. and I don't understand it because I have never considered 5'6" to be tall. So I guess people just think anyone taller than they are to be 'tall' or 'big-boned', I guess.
[This message edited by JanaGreen at 2:52 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]
Anyway. One time this guy told me I was built like a brick shithouse. I was depressed and horrified for weeks until my mother (who thought this was hillarious) told me it was actually a compliment.
Don't be sad, she didn't mean it in a mean way, it just came out sounding that way. I bet you look amazing.
[This message edited by ninebark at 6:28 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)]
One time this guy told me I was built like a brick shithouse.
She's a brick . . . HOUSE! She's mighty mighty, lettin' it all hang out!
I'm not sure why brick shithouse is a compliment, but it is. Weird!
Complimentary expression for a well endowed women that is "stacked" like M. Monroe.
definition from the urban dictionary.
Many people compliment in weird ways that are hard to interpret without such a dictionary!
[This message edited by InnerLight at 4:44 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)]