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OktoberMest (original poster member #34173) posted at 10:05 PM on Monday, July 8th, 2013
On sunday we were diving together with some friends. We were having a great weekend. LH gave me a hug in a surface intervals between dives on Sunday and then as we were hugging he just said "I forgive you".
Just like that. Out of the blue...Huh? I replied a little taken aback.
"I forgive you for having a A".
"Really? Honestly?"
"Yes. I'm tired of being angry. It still hurts a lot that you had an A; but I forgive you."
Wow. I mean WOW. 
This is huge. HUGE.
It hasn't really sunk in. I keep expecting things to back track. Not really sure how to feel but so, so grateful.
We've both come a long way, but it wasn't so long ago he still wasn't sure how this was going to pan out...part of me can't help but wonder if he wants to forgive so much he's said it, but might realise one day he actually hasn't. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I just wasn't sure this day would ever come. And certainly not so soon.
He even said he'd renew vows with me one day. Again, wow.
Taking it one day at a time... 
Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 10:09 PM on Monday, July 8th, 2013
I love seeing marriages continue to recover! Gives me a happy feeling to read posts like these.
I am glad for you guys.
Married -> I cheated -> We divorced -> We remarried -> Had two kids -> Now we’re miserable again
Staying together for the kids
D-day 2010
Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 10:26 PM on Monday, July 8th, 2013
Love this OKM. Love it.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
SurprisinglyOkay ( member #36684) posted at 10:31 PM on Monday, July 8th, 2013
FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children
"Your secrets keep you sick"
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 1:32 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
I''m so happy for the two of you!
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Mrs Panda ( member #27303) posted at 1:48 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Me-48 FWW Him 51BH
M 20 years,. Fully Reconciled ❤️.
DDay#1 Nov 2008
DDay#2 Aug 2009 (Prior A from 2001)
"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand." -Kurt Vonnegut
BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 2:38 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Super cool!
isadora ( member #29130) posted at 4:52 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Me: BW Him: who cares
Divorced: 4/2015
2 DDs and 2DSs
Who knows how many affairs at this point
Multiple D-Days
I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.
cinnamongurl ( member #37879) posted at 4:54 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Me:FWS 42 He: FBS 43 and my heart
Together 22 years. We survived infidelity. "Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it." Tori Amos
CG
Patchy ( member #39228) posted at 5:19 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
So happy for you.
As a BS, I can say that while your husband has "chosen" to forgive you, it will clearly be some time before he is truly past the A. He will likely go through cycles of feeling okay about it, not thinking about it much, to being unable to stop thinking about it and getting angry and/or sad.
There have been times I have brought something up about the A and to my husband, he saw this as a sign that I had not truly forgiven him. But that wasn't true at all. I chose to forgive him, but that doesn't mean my wounds aren't still gaping and that I'm not wrestling with "how could he do this to me"?
The fact that your husband chose to forgive you is, indeed, a huge step. He is, at the very least, in the early stages of truly forgiving and working through what it means to forgive. Sometimes we just have to choose to act on something we are having a hard time completely feeling just yet. Same with love. Sometimes we choose to show acts of love to someone we are having a really hard time "feeling" love for, whether a spouse, or an in-law or anyone in our lives. And the more we follow through with these acts of love, the feelings of love tend to follow. I think it can be similar with forgiveness. We choose to say the words "I forgive you", and may not even know if we really, truly feel whatever it means to feel like we've totally forgiven someone. I hope that makes sense!
Anyway, just thought I'd offer my two bits as a BS who has had to forgive not once but twice (same A, continued after it was supposedly ended). The second time around was a lot harder, believe me.
Me BS 44
Him FWS 45
Married 23 Years
DDay 1 July 2012
DDay 2 Christmas Day 2013 same woman
EA with kissing, very strong bond and talk of leaving spouses for each other.
knightsbff ( member #36853) posted at 7:05 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
This is wonderful to hear.
(((OM & LH)))
fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.
OktoberMest (original poster member #34173) posted at 4:56 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Thanks guys.
Patchy - I understand and think that it would be most abnormal not to continue to cycle up and down.
And you know what I really felt like him saying it was a release for him rather than something for me; but it sure was good to hear. 
Regardless, we keep moving on...keep working, it's just good to know where he is.
KBeguile ( member #38348) posted at 1:20 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
Awesome story! Keep up the good work!
Me: WS 34
Her: BS 37 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 7yo
M: 9 years
DDays: 2012/11/14-2013/02/05, 2013/03/09, 2016/02/19
badchoice ( member #35566) posted at 1:25 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
Me: fWH/BH 46
Separated transitioning to D
I think I can ( member #17756) posted at 4:43 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
I remember that. I'm so happy for you!
I'm not the winner, I'm the prize.
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 11:56 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
VeilLifted ( member #34692) posted at 4:48 PM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
I am so happy to see this. I don't post much, but I look for anything written by you or LH as we share the same d-day. I was so sorry to read about the loss of your cat. I would be devastated to lose my Hercules (my 100 pound lap dog 
) right now. But it was heart warming that is was such a bonding moment for the two of you.
Me - BW
Him - FWH
DDay 10-29-11 2 month EA 1 time PA
He had ended it 10-28-11
Broke NC 12-20-11
S 12-21-11 filed D 1-4-12
R started/H moved home 2-8-12
2 wonderul boys 17 & 14(now 20 & 17)
Now we have a beautiful grandson!
Married 19 years(n
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