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TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 12:54 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Everyone has them...and some of them stink to high heaven. Right now I am PISSED off at my mom. Divorcing, reconciling, limbo...where ever we were at aside, her stance has been the same. I should rug sweep and I should forgive immediately. It was my "duty" to be the strong one and forget everything for the family. Tonight took the cake. She told me that if I wanted this marriage that I should never bring the affair up to him again. Needless to say I hung up on her and won't be taking any calls. It's a good thing my parents live in California. Anybody know where I can get a bathtub size amount of sangria?
Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 12:58 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Wow. Just wow. I'm sorry, TCD. We both know you need to do what is right for you. We've got your back.
(((TCD)))
isadora ( member #29130) posted at 1:05 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Me: BW Him: who cares
Divorced: 4/2015
2 DDs and 2DSs
Who knows how many affairs at this point
Multiple D-Days
I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.
DriveMeCrazy ( new member #39767) posted at 1:22 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Sorry you are dealing with that...recovering from an A, whether you r or not, is hard enough. When your family doesn't have your back, that just hurts. Sending you hugs. Hang in there and do what is right for you.
I am the BS, his LTA lasted almost 5 years. Ended immediately on dday. In reconciliation.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:23 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Sounds to me like that's mamas advice because that's what she did. And for the record she is horribly wrong. Try not to be angry with her try to feel sorry for her. She just doesnt understand what a healthy relationship looks like.
Sangria. Yum!!
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 2:30 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Old school ways I think. A long time ago women didn't have many choices. I don't know if anyone listens to country music but Tammy wynette had a song "stand by your man". It is sickening to hear now. Forgive him because, he's just a man. Basically sex him up more then you will win him back. Ughhh. Luckily my mom is a " give him the gate if he's mistreating you" kind of mom. I'm thankful because what you heard would be very upsetting. I'm so sorry but looks like no support on that end as far as M issues.
BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????
TattoodChinaDoll (original poster member #34602) posted at 2:33 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Thanks everyone. You'd think as a former psychiatric nurse she would know better. I don't know if it's because she doesn't want to see me hurt and to her it's the easiest way...if it's cultural (she is Chinese)...or if she is being a freaking moron right now.
Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
Tripletrouble ( member #39169) posted at 2:42 AM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Hugs TCD - that hurts. I know my mom would back me up because my dad was a cheater - but I can't even tell her because she has a huge mouth and can't keep a secret to save her life. It would be juicy gossip for her. I know this because she broke my brother's confidentiality during his marital crisis years ago. It's so hard to not even have your own mom in your camp.
40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.
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