My 'gut' has been acting up a lot over the last 6 months, simple incidents that easily brushed aside individually, but the repetition of them and the increasing lack of coincidence was building.
OM's BS messaged me last week with the details of a txt she found on OM's phone that was sent to my (F?)WW.
So here I am at the head of the emotional roller-coaster again. Follow me, folks! Trust me, I'm experienced at this!
Already had the "I'm done" conversation with WW. Got an admission - of sorts. Its all I need at this point. I guess I'll be moving on to the 'New Beginnings' section, now.
Wish me luck!
DDay - May 9
"You are strong and brave." - My fortune shortly after DDay, the cookie knew just what to say.
If a WS doesn't learn by seeing the pain they have put us through during round 1 I couldn't ever go through it again.
Wishing you peace in the days ahead.
She's broken and not fixing herself.
FTB
Strength
I'm really sorry.
(((crush3d)))
I'm still in pseudo-shock, I think. Calm, not really angry, yet relieved - like an invisible burden that I've carried for these past 5 years has been lifted.
Granted... the sadness is a little heavy right now. After all, I still love her. I'm still going to miss her like hell. I just have to keep telling myself that I'll be better off and happier without her. *sigh*
You sound certain. Are you?
As it happened, most of the info came from OM's BS, so I never really had to rely on the phone spy info.
During our last conversation, while she was still trying to explain and/or deny everything from the past few months that I was pointing out to her which had set me on edge or didn't feel right, I mentioned the spyware.
I said to her "You saw how devastating it was to me to find the evidence of your last affair (found digital photos of the two of them together), at least have the decency to save me from that all over again. If you tell me not to look at the info gathered from your phone, I won't."
Her sobbing reply was "Don't look... please, don't look..."
That was all I needed to hear.
And no, I still haven't looked - nor do I plan to. Its water under the bridge at this point.
Strength for the journey ahead.
You seem quite resolute in your writing - more strength to you. Best of luck for your future, hope it's filled with peace and happiness.
Sorry to hear you are experiencing and BS's worst fear.
Before you say you are not going to look at the 'backup' of her phone, are you in a fault or no-fault state. If fault, you may be able to utilize them as leverage for a more equitable divorce. Please secure them until you talk with an attorney.
Strength in your journey.
Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then --- Bob Seger
Nothing much to add that hasn't been said...just sorry to hear this. I'm with the others that just can't understand how they would betray you the first time, let alone repeat it after they saw the destruction it causes. Strength.
TrustGone, thanks for the kind words... I'm not at all concerned about the DV issue. But I am wary of how the D process may change her current outlook and demeanor. Lucky for me, she's working out of town and I'll be setting up the meeting with a common lawyer to draft our separation agreement. I will likely meet with independent counsel myself for a consultation on how to proceed while protecting myself throughout the process, too.
After that, hopefully it remains amicable and we can deal with the division of assets ourselves. If not... then we'll each have to lawyer up at that point.
And you'd asked if this was the same OM... no. Definitely not. It was, however, another coworker she worked with out on the job site. Just like the first time around. The kicker this time is that the OM is a guy I've known and worked with on and off myself - for 15 years!!!!
Needless to say, any rage I experience will be aimed directly at him. And I'm in daily contact with his BW (who recently signed up here) as well, making sure that she has any and all the support and information that she needs from me throughout her own roller coaster ride.
Ugh.... off to work. Stay busy, stay distracted, right?
[This message edited by crush3d at 9:30 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)]
Although you seem to be taking it with a solid, quiet resolve. I think I would as well.
((((and strength))))
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.” ― Pema Chödrön
I am in almost the exact same situation.
I just found out a little over a week ago that my STBXWH is having another affair.
5 years... gone.
Different OW, but a co-worker just like the last time.
Sending you strength.
Burn everything love then burn the ashes.
Reading responses it seems the ones that have A's with coworkers and never find another job end up reoffending with a different co worker.
That is what I am afraid of as WH works with all women.
My heart aches for you but you sound so strong.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"
