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RightTrack posted 7/8/2013 23:22 PM

Did your WS call you while they were in the middle of screwing around? I was thinking of this after reading about compartmentalizing and how "he never thought of me while he was with her". Hmmm, he called me every couple of days in between sex sessions to continue the lie about his work week-end. He bought the kids and me t-shirts from one of his destination screw week-ends (bought AP a shirt matching mine. How cute!). He bought me a guilt gift of a laptop after his plane landed after another week-end. It looks to me like he thought of me plenty of times during his get aways, he just didn't care much or he got off on getting away with it.

twokids posted 7/9/2013 00:40 AM

Yup, my WH would call me during their weekend trysts, and chat me up like everything was a-OK.

He'd wait until he had a few minutes by himself, so as not to reveal to OW we were in contact.

Typical lying cake eater.

LivinginLimbo posted 7/9/2013 06:56 AM

Apparently I called him once when he was "busy". The whore blogged about how she gave him a blow job while he was on the phone with me.

TrustGone posted 7/9/2013 07:31 AM

Yes. He called me everynight while I was working out of state. He had her living here, so I know she knew he was talking to me as I called him also. I am not sure what excuse he gave her when he told me he "loved me" while they were happily engaged to be married.

I have never bought into the fact that the WS didn't think about their BS while they were with the AP. They can't turn their life and thoughts off and on like that. I think it is more they were so selfish that they rationalized their A to themselves and made the BS out to themselves and the AP as a really horrible spouse, when they knew that it wasn't really true. It was more important that they got their ego kibbles to feed the addiction. It is sad and I think one of the things I find the hardest to come to terms with. How can you love me one minute and be screwing someone else the next minute in my own home?

shatteredheart7 posted 7/9/2013 08:08 AM

My FWH has told me that he always pretended that she was me. Not sure I believe that, but IF it is true then what a shot to her ego! I know I am better than her. There is no doubt in my mind. And he is with me now 100%, completely, and wants nothing to do with her.

RightTrack posted 7/9/2013 08:18 AM

shatteredheart7, I guess that's something I need to remember too. Still, the "how could you?" factor is high.

musiclovingmom posted 7/9/2013 08:25 AM

I know I called him. I had taken our 9 month old son to the dr to find out that he hadn't grown at all in 3 months. I was frantic. It had been almost exactly a year since my daughter had had an appendectomy (she was 3 at the time), and that only compounded my stress. He offered to tell his boss he needed to come home. I told him not to because all we could do was wait for lab results. I kick myself for that every day.

AFrayedKnot posted 7/9/2013 08:34 AM

Yep, she called me at 9pm while I was working out of town to tell me she loved me, that she was tired and going to bed early, and we would talk in the morning. All the while knowing he was on his way over to our house for sex.

shatteredheart7 posted 7/9/2013 09:50 AM

Right track, I still wonder how he could do it. I honestly have never asked why. I know why so never felt the need to ask. Clinical depression can and does really mess with a persons mind, NOT that I think its an acceptable excuse. But I doubt I will ever understand HOW! Not only because I know he loves me and that he always has but because even if he had been single she isn't someone that he would have been with. She is nasty, doesn't take care of herself, ugly, no teeth (not even false ones) he calls her the toothless hag. I have asked him if he had to put a bag over her head. He said it was always "doggy style" so that he didn't have to look at her and it was easier to pretend she was me that way. I'll never understand "the how"

stillhere09 posted 7/9/2013 10:00 AM

He was several states away from home, about to meet his ex for the first time in 20 years, using the excuse that he wanted to see his son. (He ended up seeing his son for a few minutes, and her for half the day - at least!)

Anyway, after his plane landed and he was only minutes away from seeing her, the two of them texted each other like crazy. I saw on the online cell bill. In between all these texts, he sent me one text: "Happy Birthday." Yep, it was my birthday. When I saw how he squeezed it in between texts to her, I was glad that I had not responded.

He used to call me all the time when he was about to go to lunch with his ho-worker. He did that so that I would not call him for a while, and he could have lunch with her uninterrupted. When I caught on to this, I made sure I called him 10 minutes later.

doesitgetbetter posted 7/9/2013 10:44 AM

My H never dated any of the OW and only met one of them 2 times that weren't for just sex (this was a quazi EA only). Anyway, he would be talking to me on the phone, get an incoming call and tell me it was a customer, he'd hang up with me, talk with OW, then call me right back. Or he'd be talking to OW, I'd call and he'd hang up with her to talk to me, then he'd call her right back when he was done talking to me. Makes me sick.

SoVerySadNow posted 7/9/2013 10:56 AM

It kills me, but WH (on a business trip) called me between flirting/picking up OW and taking her to his hotel room. Yet, he claims not to have thought of me at all. Even when he told her he had a newborn daughter at home.
So yes, he called. But slightly earlier than he would have because he was meeting her. Didn't want to mess up his wonderful evening, I guess. Ugh. (where's the ripped out soul emoticon?)

[This message edited by SoVerySadNow at 10:57 AM, July 9th (Tuesday)]

notquiteoverit posted 7/9/2013 11:21 AM

He called me five times a day while he was on his 4-day expedition with the OW. He says that she knew he was calling and only asked that he not do it around her. It always baffles me that there are women out there who would stoop this low.

SoVerySadNow posted 7/9/2013 15:05 PM

It always amazes me when they construct boundaries:

she knew he was calling and only asked that he not do it around her

Blameitontherain posted 7/9/2013 15:44 PM

I talked to my WH every single night while he was away training. So on the nights she would come over to his hotel room for their fuckfest where he claims he never orgasmed, he had just gotten off the phone with me. Telling me how much he missed me, how much he loved me, how he wished he was home, etc. every night was a slap in my face. How can you screw someone within hours of talking to your wife? Oh wait. Because you told yourself no one would get hurt. What I didn't know wouldn't hurt me. How about the std I tested positive for? That sure didn't hurt me at all! How about the hate and loathing you had for yourself the 4 years you kept it hidden from me? Yep that hurt no one. The way you excluded yourself from the family for 4 years because "you didn't deserve us"? Even when I didn't know, it hurt the whole family. We just had no clue why you wanted nothing to do with us. That didn't hurt us at all. I don't know if I can get over that.

RightTrack posted 7/9/2013 20:52 PM

T/J away! That's the other part of their phone calls isn't it? What was the OP doing while they were calling us? My WH says his MOW would call her husband at the same time. I guess when there was a "lull" in the sex she would say, " let's call our spouses now!" I just can't imagine any of it.

and then there's the calls made during important family events. Don't tell me you weren't thinking of your family when you were calling Whorebreath from your 1st grader's birthday party, or from the Cub Scout picnic or from our anniversary dinner.

whatnow8 posted 7/9/2013 23:17 PM

Yup. And not just him. But his last AP was a friend of ours, so there were times I was on the phone with her when they were together.