Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

I miss a lot...

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

sunflowergirl30 posted 7/9/2013 00:03 AM

But most of all I miss not thinking about his cheating. I miss back then, when my thoughts were filled with Dr. Appt. sports practices and what I needed to pick up for dinner. When my head was filled with nothing..well, nothing about cheating or lies and betrayal. I miss being kiss hello. I miss being kissed goodbye. I miss being kissed in general. I miss not being filled with self hate and doubt. I miss being able to enjoy life. I miss being happy inside. I miss feeling content and safe. I hate now. I am filled with hate, suspicion and resentment. I feel like i am trapped in a bad lifetime movie. I just want to yell "fuck you!!" To every person I see. I am afraid sometimes instead of a hi or hello...i will blurt out FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FFFFFUUUUCCCKKK YYYYYOOOUUUUUUUUUU! Sorry

Ostrich80 posted 7/9/2013 01:06 AM

I feel the same way. Sometimes I can't remember what is,was like to not be suspicious . I no longer trust my own judgement. Geez I can't even order off of a restaurant menu without 2nd guessing. I'm cranky and irritated. Some days I want to grab him and not let him leave, other days I want to kick him in the balls. I miss normal.

hurt314 posted 7/9/2013 01:11 AM

Oh I know what you mean. I miss all those things too. It's so hard to feel like a completely different person than you once were.

I miss the sense of normalcy.

nowiknow23 posted 7/9/2013 08:52 AM


WhatsRight posted 7/9/2013 08:58 AM

I miss being held. By anyone. He doesn't hold me. The kids - teenagers - don't hug me. Sometimes when I see my brother in law, I give him an extra long hug. When he looks at me with a question mark, like, "What's wrong?", I just say I was needing a hug.

Recently my 13 year old dog died. She drowned in our pool. It was my fault. She was blind and went outside - on the other side of the house - to pee. I should have watched her every minute.

After it happened, I was curled up in a ball, sobbing for hours. Not one of my boys, or my husband 'held' or hugged me. (I did get a sympathy card...yes...a card...from them the next day.)

I don't know how a person can see someone in such pain and do NOTHING.

Sorry for the t/j, but I was trying to express that I know what you are feeling. Just to be 'back', before all of this was happening.

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 ®. All Rights Reserved.