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TheBestMe posted 7/9/2013 08:33 AM

The kaka hit the fan back in August 2012. The final confrontation between me and WS took place: I told him to get out and go with the OW. He said that he would end it, he was in love with me...blah blah blah.

I love him and was willing to work toward reconciliation. We were nearing our 22nd wedding anniversary in December. WS and I would begin anew by going on a cruise in December. OW found out that we were together and in January 2013 began trying to contact me. According to the POS that my WH slept with they knew each other for 12 years, but had been a couple for 7. She had done so many things to make me aware of their "family". She had pictures of them on Facebook, she answered his phone and texted me from it and called my home. I did not know her full name and did not try to look her up on Facebook.

So what, she answered his phone and texted me from it. She called my home and asked for him. I gave him the phone. I did this because I too had an ulterior motive. He was financial security while I was caring for my terminally ill father who was dying from prostate cancer. I had given up my well paying career because my father and my mother needed me. If it had not been for them I would not have been able to achieve what I did. My father personally helped WS get the well paying job that he know has. My parents loved him when his F-up'd FOO threw him away.

My broken and wounded WS and the broken and wounded POS that he took up with were too stupid to see that I was totally in charge. WS never stopped supporting me financially. There were times that he even showed signs of being his former loving and caring self. His paycheck is what I needed him for during those years. The fact that he screwed that POS was in my opinion just another form of masturbation. Even in my darkest hour, that POS and her guerrilla war fare could not keep him away from me.

While he was giving his best to another relationship,I continued taking care of his
paycheck, our home, and our dental and medical needs. When I was little, my Aunts told me " a man can't work if his feet hurt or if he is hungry". A man can not work if he is sick. I continued being me. That included getting him to his regular doctor visits.

Because of my fathers illness, I am hyper-aware of prostate cancer symptoms. You guessed it! In follow up to a regular MD. appointment my WS was diagnosed with prostate cancer. In March he had a radical prostatectomy that has left him with erectile dysfunction and slight urinary incontinence.
He has to wear a pad and sleeps one of those pads used on hospital beds.

WS was a youthful man that took pride in his athletic abilities: skied, surfed, dives and rides motorcycles. So often during the last 6 months he has been saying that his cancer diagnosis and the residual effects of the surgery is his payback for what he has done to me. My comments have been (1)You rep what you sow (2) God does not come at you with a stick (3) the Universe gives us what we put out. He also knows that his illness may have been exasperated by the stress of the double life and lies that he has lived for so long. My good side won't allow me to say to WS "I hope that sex with that POS was worth this STD".

sunflowergirl30 posted 7/9/2013 08:41 AM

Wh found a lump last week in his scrotum. He wont go to the Dr. He just keeps saying he's being punished for cheating. He is terrified and just ignoring it. He is about to turn 36 yrs old. Part of me is laughing inside and the other is worried. On a lighter note, I do believe his hair thinning is karma.

tushnurse posted 7/9/2013 08:44 AM

Wow That Sucks for you as well as him.

(((and strength))))

TheBestMe posted 7/9/2013 09:01 AM

@sunflower girl- try to convince him to get to a doctor. This may be a symptom of Testicular cancer. If caught early it can be considered cured and treatable. Research some web sites for advice on how to approach him. It the limp is benign then it's benign. What ever it is, this is an opportunity to draw closer to each other. I do not let my WS draw me in to his pity party. This does not give my WS a pass. Let me tell you, every time things get hot for him and I he goes for his C card. Don't even try it. You were f-ing that donkey before your PSA started to rise. My WS cancer diagnosis has nothing to do with his choice to turn outside of our marriage.

But for you, read all that you can and call the American Cancer Society or your family MD for help. Wishing you all the best.

TheBestMe posted 7/9/2013 09:06 AM

@Tushnurse- Thanks for the hugs. Karma effects everyone. That is the universe! I vowed in sickness and in health. If I did to him now what he did to me what would that say about me? The Karma Bus or the Universe would not see my actions as justified. Although I have to say that a part of me finds the irony in his E.D. laughable .