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I know that will probably never happen but today I'm just so pissed off.

Yes he's working with me and doing most things right but I am struggling with how damn selfish one person can be. Is 2 minutes of pleasure worth destroying the person you claimed to love!?!?! And that's how I feel today - destroyed. This mental torture must be what hell is like and I never in my life could have imagined pain so unbearable before this.

I had to get that out!!!!

It's so early for you. I'm a very mellow human most of the time. My anger hit at 6 months and is just starting to subside again. Be kind to yourself. Vent here. If you can be calm and rational (I know I can't a lot of the time) share your anger with your husband. Tell him in specific terms why you are angry. Doing that was what finally helped me. Getting it out.