Topic: How did you handle the breakup of WS and AP?
Member # 25838
| Posted: 11:15 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
It's finally happened after so many years of their nasty fights, I really don't know much details but he said something like, "You know such and such and I are not together and she's got to pick up the rest of her things from the apartment." I'm just numb to the whole situation anyway, I don't feel any kind of emotion. I've been through alot in the past 6 years or so. I've just keeping going on with my life.
How did you guys handle it? Did you gloat, did you party...
...Or did you say, " I told you so!!"
Posts: 477 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: New York
Member # 38377
| Posted: 11:29 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
I felt pretty good.. Till they got back together a week later. Apparently him cheating on her wasn't a dealbreaker. I'm sure that 1 week made him learn his lesson
Two DS~ 9 and 13
Posts: 3120 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Member # 39193
| Posted: 11:38 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
I'll let you know when it happens.
*taps toe impatiently*
Where IS that stinking Karma bus??!!
Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
Posts: 1857 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Member # 33226
| Posted: 11:39 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
I think I said, "Ok." And when I hung up the phone, I went back to washing dishes.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Posts: 38639 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 32810
| Posted: 11:40 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
Last I heard, my XH and his OW/gf are still together, but if he ever did feel the need to tell me they'd broken up, all he'd get was crickets.
He's such a nonentity in my life.
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
Posts: 14437 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 17460
| Posted: 11:43 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
How did you handle the breakup of WS and AP?
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
Posts: 21367 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Member # 36060
| Posted: 12:49 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
At this point, I would throw a party. I don't care what he does after this, but I want that woman gone.
He would inevitably come crawling back, so I hope I would have the strength to kick him in the face.
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
2 DS and DD all w/autism
Posts: 751 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
|Sad in AZ|
Member # 24239
| Posted: 12:59 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
I'm with Ama; he's pretty much a nonentity in my life. I have a feeling they broke up for a while but may be back together? Honestly, I don't care.
My only 'concern' would be if they ever marry; I really don't want to deal with them as co-grandparents to MY grandchild/ren
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Posts: 24429 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Southern New Mexico
Member # 32616
| Posted: 1:10 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
I could care less if they are together since I stepped off the crazy train, but we don't have kids, so he is cleanly out of my life. Back around the time of D she was still with her BH and he told me she had just used him. I laughed. For a few months after he would send fishing emails with cryptic updates. I guess he figured out I could give two shits because he finally quit.
“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
Posts: 3637 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Member # 27186
| Posted: 1:18 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
Relieved! I kept getting calls from the sitter and neighbors making sure I had the kids cause she was punching my ex on the front lawn.
There was a time that he had to bring my kids back to me, along with the OC, because of the wifetress craziness. I know she has been diagnosed BPD and has previous manipulation attempts at suicide.
They are technically still married, but she's been overseas for two years now. I found out from my former mil, that they got into a physical fight and he told her he should have stayed with his first, true family...Glad all that drama is over, but only cared about it because of my kids.
BS-34; WXH-32; DS8; DS3; OC3
DDay: SEPT 2008
Divorced: JUNE 2010
Posts: 318 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Indy
Member # 34373
| Posted: 2:10 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
It hasn't happened yet though if they do I would feel relieved for my kids and I suspect xWH would be relieved also.
Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"
Posts: 1858 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Member # 10506
| Posted: 4:45 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
I was pissed because they blew up my life and DD's life for no good reason. Their stupid fantasy tru lurv could not stand up to the cold face of reality.
But then I was like "eh, who cares. Not my problem anymore"
Now they are back together. X is unemployed and has been ill and he is sponging off OW and the national health system in the UK. Again, not my problem.
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine
Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Member # 35229
| Posted: 5:51 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
I will feel 'here we go again'. He would be imposing the next iteration of "the one" on my girls within a month or two.
I'm kind of hoping this one wastes her 20s/30s on him - that he wastes his 40s/50s on her. Better the devil you know - as they say.
[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 5:52 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
Posts: 5988 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 24518
| Posted: 7:24 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
ex and wifetress just got married earlier this year, so I doubt a breakup will be happening any time soon, if at all. If it ever happens, then oh hell yeah, I'll gloat. To myself. And to my sister and friends. And probably laugh about it with my kids.
I really don't want to deal with them as co-grandparents to MY grandchild/ren
although this is probably quite a way in the future for me, yeah, that's the issue I've got now that ex married OW. I've already made it clear to my kids that I will be the good (aka cool) grandma, when the time comes.
[This message edited by inconnu at 7:26 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]
Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do. ~ Brené Brown
Posts: 12811 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
Member # 27035
| Posted: 8:23 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
I'm still waiting for it to happen. If/when it does, I will privately do a happy dance, but it won't affect my life in any way. I think my kids would be so relieved.
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
Posts: 5379 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 26928
| Posted: 8:30 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
I had several reactions:
First, which AP? XWH was a man whore, so there were a number of them.
Second, I reacted with an eyeroll and a "here we go again". Before I remarried, I didn't need to be told when XWH was short on female attention, because when there was an open position, he'd start texting and IMing me with attempts down memory lane. WTFever.
[This message edited by GabyBaby at 8:48 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]
Me - 44
DD(23), DS(21, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
Posts: 9683 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here and There
Member # 36579
| Posted: 8:39 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
I'd be gloating but crickets to him. Although I imagine I'd probably put something sarcastic on FB
Sometimes I just can't help myself....
But I would also be worried about my kids. He introduced them to OW3 as soon as he moved out and they quite like her (as much as it pains me to write that - it could be a lot worse if she was a bitch to them). They are now all living at her house. If STBXH and OW3 split, then it's yet another wrench for my poor kids.
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS13 & DD8)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14
Posts: 185 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 31656
| Posted: 8:43 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013|
XWW told me that OM dumped her after his divorce was final. Ours was final one month later. I don't even know if I believe her...so many lies about him.
It really doesn't matter. She still has no interest in fixing all of the damage she caused. It does piss me off to think all of the pain she put me through was all for nothing
Me -BH 47, now 51
Her-XWW 39, now 44
D Day #1 9/09 (found out about friendship, she promised NC-she lied)
D day #2 1/11 (found out EA on going-she lied again)
D day #3 4/11 (found out EA was actually a PA-still lying)
M 16 (Divorced)
Posts: 185 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 36134
| Posted: 3:10 AM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013|
I doubt he would tell me. My kids would, and I would be happy for them. I think they would be happy the gatekeeper to their father would be gone.
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Posts: 6694 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 33523
| Posted: 3:33 AM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013|
Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long
Now: happy in life, happily in love with the RIGHT man -----> Everything is as it should be
Posts: 940 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: The Hostile City
|Topic Posts: 32|