He doesn't ever reach out but only one time to apologize so I am kind of writing here before I send something.
Lately, I have found myself getting either so angry to the point of sending a nasty text and then sort of regretting it, even though it makes me feel a little better (short term). Or I get these overwhelming moments of missing him so much. So my emails (that I just draft and don't send) are psycho because half of it is telling him I miss him and loved him and half is how could he do this, your whore this and that. Which is ok if I don't send I suppose.
Right now I want to tell him I miss holding his hand in a car ride. I miss his hands. At the same time, I have images of him with her all day that make me want to chop his thing off! I just have all these things I want him to know and hear but at the same time, I have done this the first couple weeks and he says he gets them all but he has NEVER responded. I think a part of him just doesn't know what to say. He'd rather avoid. He left anyway so why should he even have to have an uncomfortable conversation with me? That's why he left, to avoid all that. I can't believe the selfishness in this.
Please...tell me not to send anything. He never replies anyway.
[This message edited by Jewlz at 1:49 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]
You are worth more than that. Do something for yourself. Write whatever you want to send him here. It is normal for you to miss and want to be close to the man you thought was your forever man, You need to mourn that. Keep your pride, don't send him anything!
Like others have said don't let him know that you miss him and he may have a back up plan. We all know it's hard.
Hang in there
Your chicken-shit, candy-ass coward of a husband does not deserve to have the attention of two women.
You can't control what OW does, but make sure you don't give WH a single ego kibble.
Go online shopping at the nicest stores without buying. Call a friend. Write a thank you to someone who did something good for you or your kids. Read a romance novel or decide what breed you would choose if you could get a dog.
Another thing I did was to start a journal like everyone says to do. I poured out the pain, the hurt, the anger, the rage and the love in that journal. I look at it now and see just how much pain I was in 2 years ago and I am so happy that I am no longer in that place.
Start a journal and keep all thoughts about him, the situation, your pain and your love in that journal. This will stop you from typing emails that you really DO NOT want to send. If that isn't enough then do something to take your mind off him. Play games with your kids, take them to the park, take them swimming, go to the mall and window shop, just do anything but text him.
I wasted so much of my time trying to get my x to understand how much he hurt me. He never responded to anything that called him out on his cheating. I finally stopped talking to him at all and went complete NC. The journal became my constant companion.
It takes a lot of time for your heart to catch up with your head but it will happen. Mine caught up 6 months after the divorce was final. I know it is harder with kids involved since you still have to deal with him. My heart goes out to you Jewlz.
By texting him, you are giving him the power, take that power back and do something else, it will get easier.
Really, thank you.
I just called the lawyer's office and asked if there was anything else they need (to give them a push) and to see if they have anything ready. I really do want to serve him already so I can move on.
Good Job! There ^^^is a good use of your time!
Now maybe a mani-pedi?
Take Care Jewlz.
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
I think you're right, I probably should. I haven't been exercising because I'm on the infidelity diet and currently 110 lbs so I've been holding onto calories but toning up would be nice! My arms are actually pretty toned since my 6 month old is 25 lbs! Haha
But, I could definitely go for a haircut and maybe a new color, good idea. I may be without the kids this weekend so I really need to do something other than lay in bed this time.