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veelop5 (original poster member #11089) posted at 8:43 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
of thinking that this is the one...only to find out that he wasn't...I don't like this feeling...I invested over a month....now he just poofed...I know I will be fine but it really makes me not want to do this again...I am having a pity party....
ME-40
XH-DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE
3 beautiful boys (21,20 & 17)
Update: Moved in to my own apartment 8/7/2012
10/27/2014-Met a wonderful man 9months ago
Divorce final 3/27/2013
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 8:45 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
I'm sorry Veelop5. Sometimes people are just assholes.
(((hugs)))
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 9:38 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 9:42 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Yup, I understand exactly you are saying.
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 12:24 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
She11ybeanz ( member #27457) posted at 2:03 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
Yeah...that's my fear with Triathlon dad.... I really like him... but keep waiting for the disappearing act to begin....I've had that happen with OLD before...and it sucks!!! ((BIGHUGZ)) 
"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
OnceInALifetime ( member #26023) posted at 2:35 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
Poofers are chicken shits.
It sucks to suddenly have the air go out of the sails, but poofing shows lack of character on his part, so good riddance I say. His loss, not yours.
(((veelop5)))
veelop5 (original poster member #11089) posted at 3:35 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
The thing is I miss him...and he doesn't miss me?? Why pretend and than just make me feel like shit!
ME-40
XH-DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE
3 beautiful boys (21,20 & 17)
Update: Moved in to my own apartment 8/7/2012
10/27/2014-Met a wonderful man 9months ago
Divorce final 3/27/2013
OnceInALifetime ( member #26023) posted at 4:13 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
I suspect he really did have a good time with you. I don't think that can be faked so easily. And why would he fake that? If he didn't enjoy being with you, he wouldn't have kept it going as long as he did.
But here's where the unpleasantness comes in:
Maybe he was multi-dating, and was even more into someone else than he was into you, and decided to become exclusive with her.
Maybe someone else suddenly came along and he really wanted to pursue her.
Maybe he became afraid of being in a relationship and just bolted.
If things got intimate between you, maybe he's a player.
Every one of these is no fun. Dating can be brutal. But he's still a chicken shit for poofing with no explanation.
I.will.survive ( member #34677) posted at 11:46 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
^^^Totally agree with any of those suggestions above. :(
((hugs)) That SUCKS to be in the position of not being able to ask why? and get closure. Even though it was a short amount of time, you absolutely deserve better than a disappearing act.
stronger08 ( member #16953) posted at 11:56 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
Before you collect the milk. You must walk thru the manure to get to the cow. 
You cant eat soup with chopsticks.
veelop5 (original poster member #11089) posted at 12:15 PM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
We didn't slep together...I'm goa stick with the got scared cause he said he was..only divorced 7 months..3 small kids..distance (3 hours)..etc...etc..but before hand said I was worth it..ughhh
ME-40
XH-DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE
3 beautiful boys (21,20 & 17)
Update: Moved in to my own apartment 8/7/2012
10/27/2014-Met a wonderful man 9months ago
Divorce final 3/27/2013
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 3:38 PM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
InnerLight ( member #19946) posted at 10:39 PM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
It sucks!
You do some nice things for yourself now. Pamper yourself, fun things with other friends. That old song - wash that man right outta your hair and send him on his way!
BS, 64 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 years together
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!
OnceInALifetime ( member #26023) posted at 5:26 AM on Thursday, July 11th, 2013
It's discouraging how hard it is to meet someone and then have it stick. There have seemed to be a number of posts lately where guys just vanish. I don't get it. Seems like the stereotypes are true.
Sorry. Just move on and take grim consolation that at least this didn't happen 6 months from now.
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