I didn't find SI until over a month after Dday. I wish I had found it earlier.
When I did join and had to choose a username, I gave it some thought and I realized that the relationship with my WH has been changed for life, hence the name. I also registered a little bit that I personally would be changed but I had no idea how much.
I am no where close to the person I used to be. I am so sad so much of the time. I can lose my temper with my DD so quickly now. I used to meet other moms at groups and be able to chat. I was quick to smile and laugh.
But not now. Since Dday, I have avoided going to playgroups but I went back to one today. I felt out of place but I tried to interact with the other moms. I just wasn't able to be the self I used to be. I felt alone even with everyone around.
I have been so sad over the last couple of weeks. I feel like I am back at the start again but not quite as painful. I am taking an AD at a very low dose. Last night my mind was racing again and I ended up taking a sleeping aid that I haven't had to take in a months. I guess this is the roller coaster that everyone speaks of. I've never been a fan of carnival rides.
I'm not even sure where I am going with this post. I guess I just needed to get it out of my brain and put my thoughts out there.