its been almost 7 months since DDay. In this time i have known more pain than i ever thought possible. I have struggled with the seemingly impossible task of deciding if i have it in me to R or if this is a deal breaker for me.
Yesterday, my WH and i had our MC session...followed by a wonderful dinner at a river front restaurant...followed by some playful shenanigans and some ridiculously overpriced drinks at a rooftop bar in the city. All in all, a really wonderful day, even with the MC session thrown in.
While walking to the car, my WH stopped me and thanked me...he said my decision to find an MC in the city instead of locally was the best decision i made for us, as it has given us some really wonderful opportunities for date nights, spending quality time together and making new memories together...he said that he was grateful for me and for everyday i give him to prove that he can be the husband i deserve. That meant a great deal to me, and really made a great night even better.
I think we were both in a really good place emotionally, for the first time in quite some time....i felt like we were really connected, in sync. On the car ride home, we started getting frisky with eachother...which eventually lead to me asking my WH to pull off to a location of my choosing...and we made love in the car.
After we finished, we were holding eachother, and my WH broke down. He was shaking, sobbing uncontrollably and harder than i have seen him cry in a while. He said how sorry he was, how he couldn't believe how he could do such a thing, how he could hurt me so, how regretful he was, and how much he loved me and would spend the rest of his life proving that to me.
I broke down as well. We sat there and cried together. After 7 months of not being able to say it...i was finally able to look at my WH and tell him i loved him...and that we are going to make it. For the first time in 7 months...i actually believe it. We still have a long, rough road ahead of us...i know that....but today, this day, i officially commit myself to R.
The people on this site have given me hope when i had none...strength when i was falling apart. You helped me hang on. I wanted to put some hope out there for those of you going thru R. Keep holding on.
What was your moment?? when did you look at your WS and realize that you did have it in you to R?