I would be concerned that what he may want is the situation that being with you makes his life. If he says, "I'm not in love with you", (which I heard, too, BTW and the words still ring in my ears) it may be a way to hang onto the life he has "with you" but not have to feel romantic or "relationship".
It's something of a red flag for me, I'm sorry to say.
I found a counselor who lowered her rates dramatically when she heard my story, so there are some out there who may do that for you, as well, if you choose. There are also free centers based on social services that counsel. I've called them in the wee hours of night, in order to get through the night and they are trained in separation and divorce, too. They knew all the lingo and really helped.
I find myself surprised at my own advice because it took so long for me to realize things weren't going to work the way I wished, but now what I wish for others is, we don't have to accept someone's crumbs. I don't mean it to be harsh and understand it takes a long time to let feelings go for someone who hurt us, but we don't have to accept it. We just have to let our minds accept that there may be other things.
STBX was the love of my life, as was marriage and it was ultimately me who filed, though it emotionally wrecked me. People told me they were shocked and so did he, thinking I had no courage, but you know what? We all do...we just have to let ourselves dare to think there could be something more or something else out there waiting for us.
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.