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Shocked by d-day # 2

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savvy posted 7/9/2013 20:41 PM

Well I thought we were on road to R.
We were spending more time together he said he wanted to work things out. Blah blah blah
Well he has been seeing her all along. Found him talking with scumbag in his car. I am so over this. I'm filing. So much hurt so much pain. How do I recover from this
Feel like my world has crumbled all over again. It hurts soo much and I'm so angry at same time

sudra posted 7/9/2013 20:53 PM

I am so so sorry. It's everyone's nightmare. No words of wisdom, just wanted to know you were heard. Take care.


isadora posted 7/9/2013 20:59 PM

I'm sorry. Hang in there. It does get better.

brkn_heartd posted 7/9/2013 21:26 PM

I am so sorry this has happened. My H broken NC about 1 month after Dday and broke for 6 weeks before I found out. It almost destroyed me and him. I stayed, but I will tell you it jeopardized everything. Probably if I had a redo, I wouldn't have stayed.

Hugs to you.

SoVerySadNow posted 7/9/2013 21:32 PM

Ugh. I am so sorry.

Dare2Trust posted 7/9/2013 22:48 PM

I'm so sorry.

Nature_Girl posted 7/10/2013 00:19 AM

Oh Honey, I'm so sorry. (((((HUGS)))

RedWheelBarrow posted 7/10/2013 02:34 AM

(((hugs)))) So sorry. This happened to me too.

Duffy1958 posted 7/10/2013 03:42 AM

If you get a chance & can ask him, "What was his friggin point?" They lie anyway but good cripes! How cruel! What a pig-headed asshat.

Please do file. It is the WISE thing to do. Slap him with a little reality check.

Much strength to you Savvy. (hugs too)

Lalagirl posted 7/10/2013 06:56 AM


I am so very sorry. I wish I had the words to make it all better - seeing this breaks my heart.

You will recover - and we'll be here for you every step of the way. Do you have an IC? Can you talk to your doc for something to take the edge off a little (something for anxiety)?

Sending strength & big hugs,


Dawnie posted 7/10/2013 08:22 AM

I am so sorry...

This happened to me too, but we were only about 2 months into (false) R....

Honestly my D day #2 was a gift in disguise because it kicked me into reality and gave me the strength to file for D and move on with my life. It was a tough few weeks at first but I came out better and happier then I could ever imagine being. It has been 3 1/2 years and today my life is awesome..

Hang in there


NeverAgain2013 posted 7/10/2013 08:38 AM

It really IS unforgiveable when a cheater is given the GIFT of forgiveness by their betrayed spouse and instead of being grateful for it and feeling remorse for the devastation they've caused, they instead kick the betrayed in the face a SECOND time by doing the same exact thing they did the first time.

Savvy, you don't him anything at this point. Not a damned thing. He took your forgiveness and shit all over it. You've done MORE than your share.

tushnurse posted 7/10/2013 09:22 AM

Knowing now is really a gift for you. The pain may be overwhelming, but you know in your heart that you did all you could. He chose to be a selfish asshat, douchetroll.

Now you can focus on YOU. YOU deserve sooo much more. YOU will have it too. Look to the future where you are happy, and free of the pain and anxiety that he has caused you.

((((and strength)))

savvy posted 7/10/2013 17:45 PM

Thank you all for kind words.
I know I deserve better than this. I asked him why he would lead me on to think we could work it out and he said he wanted to try to see if he could rekindle the old spark.
Well how the hell did he think this was going to happen with her still in the picture. And beside the fact that we have been together 30 years, love doesn't really spark anymore it becomes a deeper comfortable knowing your there for each other love.
Well I am in soo much pain all over again but now I'm angry also and I'm using that anger. I have already made an appointment to see a lawyer.
He can have fun with his little scumbag while I move on and improve my life!!!!

1Faith posted 7/10/2013 17:49 PM

Oh Savvy

I am so so sorry. I truly am.

Deep breaths and know that you deserve better than this. You do.

I wish I was there to give you a hug and smack him in the head.

File and move forward. He is incapable of the truth. Be strong and know that we are all here for you.

Sending hugs. PM me anytime.


brkn_heartd posted 7/10/2013 20:10 PM

Does he know you are done? What is his reaction?

savvy posted 7/10/2013 20:22 PM

He knows I am filing. He agrees and thinks that he has caused too much hurt to be able to fix it. it is his coward way out I believe. I think he wanted me to catch him again so that I would make the choice for him. he is too much of a coward ask for a divorce

RockyMtn posted 7/10/2013 21:52 PM


And get ye over to the S/D forum. When I was on the brink of filing, I hung out there a lot. Good people, good advice.

Take care, savvy.

savvy posted 7/10/2013 21:58 PM

sorry whats FTG?

Lalagirl posted 7/11/2013 06:38 AM

F*** That. Guy (or girl)

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