ME: 55 BS
It really is very normal. Sadly, this will probably go on for much longer than you care to imagine, but it is survivable.
It certainly helps to have a remorseful WS. One who works daily to fix the mess he/she created. It sounds like yours is doing just that. Hopefully he has the fortitude to endure the long road ahead.
Be true to yourself. I held nothing back. His feelings were not my concern. I never begged. I expected a lot and he delivered. I made it clear that if my WH didn't like it, he could leave (he never did).
When you feel terrible...tell him.
When you can't sleep...wake him.
When he is not doing enough...make him.
When he seems too happy...bring him back into the reality of your life.
When you can't stand to look at him...don't.
If you need to ask that same question for the 100th time...ask.
If you don't believe him...call bullshit.
If he is doing everything right...let him know.
My WH wanted R more than I and as a result there was no false R. 2.5+yrs later he continues to work daily to right his wrong and to be a better H, father, person. Anything less than that and he wouldn't be welcome in my life.
Wishing you strength in this difficult, but not impossible, journey.
HIM: 63 WH
Married: 30 years
in R 5 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.