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I think I can (original poster member #17756) posted at 4:38 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
Almost six years out...and all the work is paying off.
We say here sometimes that the WS needs to learn to give more--it's not that they aren't getting enough, it's that they aren't giving enough. And Lord knows I hate to need someone. He has learned the joy of giving and I have learned how to lean on him.
A few days ago, I thought I had screwed up royally, costing us $50K. (A long story, not worth repeating, it all turned out fine. Why do all these mistaken bills arrive on a weekend? 
)
Used to, I would have handled it myself until I had to tell him. But I realized that I needed him. I poured out my fears and he......supported me. 
He said it was an honest mistake, that the important thing was that we loved each other and that everyone was healthy. That if my fears were true we would handle it. And when I continued to freak out, he had patience.
I love him, I trust him, I lean on him. He is a rock for me. More than he ever was before. In the past, he would blame me.
It's a lot of sweat and tears and agony for YEARS and he was not a model WS, but I don't regret reconciling.
[This message edited by I think I can at 10:46 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]
I'm not the winner, I'm the prize.
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 11:47 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
Beautiful post!
Thanks for sharing this .
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
healingk ( member #28889) posted at 12:35 PM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
Great place to be! Good for you and WS.
Ws 63
Bs me--60
Married 42 years
D Day 11/30/08
Just trying to feel normal.It is getting there, but very slow.
RidingHealingRd ( member #33867) posted at 12:38 PM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
In the past I did not believe that people could really change but I too am witnessing big changes ~ My WH claims that those that really want to change can change. It appears that yours really wanted to as well.
I am happy for you...also happy that you aren't out 50K 
ME: 60 BS
HIM: 67 WH
Married: 35 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 10 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
OptimisticWife ( member #36587) posted at 12:54 PM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
Very happy for you. Thanks for posting
SorrowBhindSmile ( member #38139) posted at 2:36 PM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
I poured out my fears and he......supported me. In the past, he would blame me.
Thats simply amazing!! working together to achieve that is so inspiring. What a great post!!!!! 
Me: BW
Him: WH
OW: My former "dear friend"/neighbor
Married 20+
Kids: 3
D-Day 12/2012
Committed to R 7/8/2013
"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle"
HardenMyHeart ( member #15902) posted at 5:08 AM on Thursday, July 11th, 2013
Me: BH, Her: WW, Married 40 years, Reconciled
DriveMeCrazy ( new member #39767) posted at 4:23 AM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
So happy to see this! I am new in r after dday 5 months ago. My h is trying very hard, and I love to see stories where it pays off.
I am the BS, his LTA lasted almost 5 years. Ended immediately on dday. In reconciliation.
hurt101 ( member #36409) posted at 7:57 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013
This gives me hope
Me BS (45)
Him WH (48)
2 Children - 18 & 10 years
DDay #1 Sept 2011
DDay #2 Nov 2011
In R
I feel angry but not homicidal; this may be progress.
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