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Newest Member: cactusrunner85 (61536)

User Topic: WH being amazing but I am still angry, is it normal??
♀ 39480
Member # 39480
Default  Posted: 2:58 AM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So WH is doing everything right for R! He is even doing things I didn't ask for! R is going extremly well so why am I still so angry??? I get angry about silly things like his shoes were in the wrong spot on shoe rack!! I know it is silly but I am still just mad at him!! I can see and know he is trying his absolute best to fix this so why am I still mad?? Shouldn't I be happy he is trying??!!! Is this normal?? Is it just a step in this whole shitty process?? Maybe I am rushing myself! I was already angry before and got over it, or so I thought! Is it because I know he is commited to R now that I feel safe to be mad?? UGH!! I am confused!!

Me BW 37
WH 38
OW 40+ never married desprate cow
Married 9yrs together 14
DDay may 6/2013
2 kids 7 & 3
Recovery started june 11/13

Posts: 9 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: bc, canada
♀ 35846
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 4:30 AM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Divergirl

This is only the beginning. You are just coming off a huge trauma and you are going to need a lot of time to process this. There will be anger, sadness, rage and every other emotion out there running through your body for the next 6 months...and when you think you are done it will start up again. It's a roller coaster and it's just the start.

I hope you have gotten yourself into IC and your H has found his own.

At only a month out R isn't even something I would be considering. You both have a lot of work ahead and your husband has some heavy lifting to do.

Take care of you, feel these feelings and don't rush through things.

Take your time.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 4012 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
♀ 23777
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 6:35 AM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

it takes years to recover from theis kind of betrayal and being angry is normal.

The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1411 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
♀ 39588
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 6:36 AM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep and so far for me it seems to be getting worse :/

Me (BS): 36
Him aka narcissistic psychopath (WS): 36
Married 17 years 6 kids ages 16-7
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

Filed for divorce 5/8/15

Posts: 326 | Registered: Jun 2013
♂ 35512
Member # 35512
Default  Posted: 8:01 AM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is this normal?? Is it just a step in this whole shitty process?? Maybe I am rushing myself!

Yes, yes, and yes you are. You need to accept these as cycles in the healing process.

Me: BH, 44
Her: FWW, 43 (ThornyRose)
M: 17 years, together 20
2 Daughters: 15 and 13
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~

Posts: 747 | Registered: May 2012 | From: WI
solus sto
♀ 30989
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, it's very normal, and it will continue for a long, long time (years).

Millions of hugs to you.

BS-me, 55; WX-irrelevant
Divorced after an eternity
"So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tenn

Posts: 15299 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh gosh, if you wern't angry, you'd be abby-normal! This isn't a Honey, I Scratched The Car offense that can be taken care of by a bit of buffing, this is a nuclear bomb just went off in the living room and I'm standing here in strips of skin with 3rd degree burns. He may be applying dressings but it's going to take time, lots of long, consistant doing-it-right time, before you even come out of shock. Actually, I'm glad that you found your anger. Better out than in to fester. (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10067 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 7

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