Your husband definitely has a problem with alcohol if he does all of this when he's drinking. The simple answer is to stop drinking, but there is more behind it than that. Rarely do people do things while drinking that they didn't really want to do. Drinking just lowers the inhibitions a bit.
He doesn't get to decide what you talk about. This didn't happen a long time ago to you. He's had plenty of time to sweep things under the rug. You need just as much or more time to heal and that's only if he does the hard work necessary help you heal.
I would recommend counseling for him, you and then together. In the meantime, he doesn't need to be going out and he definitely doesn't need to be drinking.
Hugs hun, we're here for you!
[This message edited by lieshurt at 12:54 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)]