(((circleoflife))) Yes, the numbness is normal. It's your way of protecting yourself from the overwhelming emotions that, if constantly felt, would overwhelm and burn you out. It's a respite from the pain; no one can tolerate the pain, uninterrupted, for too long.
It's only worrisome if you get too comfortable with the numbness and work against feeling your feelings as they arise, as they will.
A good IC can go a LONG way toward helping you cope with your feelings---and the numbness, too. Do you have one? I can't recommend it highly enough.
(ETA: The stuff about him consulting with OW about techniques to improve your marriage is shockingly UN-original. I, too, heard that OW was "like a marriage counselor" and "they helped each other with their marital problems." Um, no. They created marital problems. Still, the foggy WS is an interesting breed. If your husband is not in IC himself, he needs to be. He also needs to establish FIRM and PERMANENT NC with OW, give you full transparency, and commit to R--something he does not seem to have done; no wonder you cannot decide, yourself! He's giving you nothing to work with. I hope he is like many, and pulls his head out of his nether regions before it's too late.)
[This message edited by solus sto at 5:26 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)]