Hello I am new here. I do not know all the abbreviated jargon used here. Please bare with me.
My story is I am a male 40, and was the wayward partner. I cheated off and on with the same person in a long term affair. My significant other had inappropriate behaviors but never caught cheating. When we first started out she had come out of a relationship and at one time seeing her ex, another person, and me. I was about to end the relationship but she decided to continue with me ending it with the others.
I had many trust issues and my previous relationship before her was a 10 year marriage that my wife cheated multiple times.
I had never behaved this way and there is absolutely no excuse for my behavior. We are not married and we have her 12 yr old stepson and our twin daughters (2yrs old).
I have ended the relationship with other person for good. I have tried to reconcile in the past 6 months since this all came out. I am remorseful and doing all that I can to work out things because we have a family. Initially she was very open and we started to work things out. Then the person I had an affair with showed up at our home left a note on my car in the driveway and she assumed I was still fooling around. I was able to prove I was not. Since then she has been angry. I have done all I can to answer questions, etc.
Currently I moved out but I agreed to pay the bills and utilities and whatever I can to help her out. Today for the first time I approach the subject about our future. I asked if there is a chance we can reconcile. She responded she dont think so but perhaps in the later future. Her exact words, "I do love you but you have to know what you have put me thru"
I fear it may be over. I wished it was not but I take full responsibility. I needed to address my insecurities and trust issues I had about her. I assumed for a long time she was not faithful because of her treatment to me. Still not her fault I cheated. THAT WAS ALL ON ME!!
I am reading books recommended here. She is the one who told me about this website initially about 6 months ago. She was coming on here. Yet now its a 180 and she has gone the other way. Should I just throw the cards in and chalk up this as a life learning experience. Trust me I have not slept and lost weight and truly remorseful. We both agree that we failed to communicate and assumed way too much. She has been inviting me to do things with her and the kids. I gladly go. I want to respect her space. But I want her to know I love her and want to make it right if at all possible. I am hopeful but doubtful.
Thanks in advance