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Infidelity and loss - they both suck.

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OktoberMest posted 7/10/2013 15:47 PM

So today my BH turned up spontaneously at my place of work.

My first reaction was joy. I looked up and there he was right in front of me.

Then he said those words "Can we take a walk outside?" My heart sank, my stomach went into free fall...omg what does he think he's found? I haven't hidden anything, have nothing to hide...nothing at all...

So outside we go.

The he breaks down into tears "OKM, I'm so, so sorry", he says.
"It's ok baby, what is it?"
"I'm sorry" he says again

By now I'm convinced he's leaving me. I mean what else could it be?

"I found Neo on the road this morning, he'd been hit by a car" he says.

Neo is my 13 year old black and white cat. He was my first "rescue" right out of vet school, when he broke his leg and needed it amputating aged 5 wks. We kept him, because the owners had him as a farm cat and couldn't justify paying to treat him. We operated, and saved him. And I loved him for 13 years.

And now he's gone, 3 weeks after our baby girl, Eva, was killed the same way.

Huh? I mean really, wtf?

I can't believe this has happened.
I'm so grateful LH is not leaving me.
I can't believe that is my first thought still, especially after him giving me forgiveness.

Infidelity sucks. It leaves us WSs with the legacy that the BS may leave at any time despite the effort and hard work. Despite their desire to R and forgive. It always haunts us, back there somewhere, even when I'm not really conscious of it.

Loss sucks. These are just cats right? Nope. They're my family. I don't have kids. I had 2 cats and have 2 dogs. Someone on here called them furrykids. That's what they are to me. My girl and my boy were my furry kids, and now they're gone. That's sucks so bad.

LH is being amzing. He found Neo on the road 10mins after he'd seen him in our garden. He picked him up; cleaned the mess on the road and buried him next to our baby burmese. He then called my work to get them to hold me there so he could tell me in person. He tried to do all the right things and he so did.
He took the day off so he could be wth me today. That was lovely, especially as my last call was putting someone's loved eldery Shetland pony to sleep today.

Thank you LH. Love you. And our little furry family; present and past. x

[This message edited by OktoberMest at 3:50 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)]

authenticnow posted 7/10/2013 15:52 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

And I'm glad that you and LH have each other.

Hugs.

Aubrie posted 7/10/2013 15:52 PM

Oh OKM, I'm so very sorry. Keeping you both in my thoughts.

(((OKM)))

EmotionalFool posted 7/10/2013 15:56 PM

I am sorry OKM

cdnmommy posted 7/10/2013 16:14 PM

I am very sorry for your loss.

I am glad, though, that you have each other to lean on.

(((hugs))) to you both.

jo2love posted 7/10/2013 16:18 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

DixieD posted 7/10/2013 16:22 PM

OKM and LH. I'm very sorry to hear you lost 2 of your furkids, especially so close together. Hugs to you both.

scarredforever posted 7/10/2013 16:29 PM

I am so sorry to hear this

OktoberMest posted 7/10/2013 16:31 PM

Looking supersilious...

Eva and Neo. <3

NoTriangles posted 7/10/2013 16:37 PM

Oh my goodness. I am so very very sorry. To lose your Neo while you are still grieving the loss of Eva?? I can only imagine the pain and loss.

Like you, I don't have children. Only my pups. They are my kids and my babies and, for many months, were my only reason to get out of bed each day.

I hope you can cuddle with LH and your pups tonight and just remember how much joy the furkids have brought to your life.

Sending you both big hugs.

(((Neo)))

Darkness Falls posted 7/10/2013 17:22 PM

Oh, OkM, I'm sorry. You're a strong lady...I would lose my mind.

(((hugs)))

And no... not just cats. My 3 are my babies.

knightsbff posted 7/10/2013 18:00 PM

I'm so sorry OKM & LH. My one fur baby has been such a help to me in dealing with this mess I've made.

I'm happy to hear LH has been so wonderful. I'm glad you guys have each other.

Jrazz posted 7/10/2013 18:55 PM

OMG I'm so sorry.

I'm utterly speechless. Sending hugs and good thoughts to you both.

SandAway posted 7/10/2013 19:06 PM

I am so sorry


They will not go quietly,
the cats who've shared our lives.
In subtle ways they let us know
their spirit still survives.

Old habits still make us think
we hear a meow at the door.
Or step back when we drop
a tasty morsel on the floor.

Our feet still go around the place
the food dish used to be,
And, sometimes, coming home at night,
we miss them terribly.

And although time may bring new friends
and a new food dish to fill,
That one place in our hearts
belongs to them. . . and always will.

~Linda Barnes

Mrs Panda posted 7/10/2013 20:32 PM

so sorry, honey

VeilLifted posted 7/10/2013 20:41 PM

I'm so sorry.

((OKM & LH))

heartache101 posted 7/10/2013 21:15 PM

I am so sorry for your loss..

5454real posted 7/10/2013 22:41 PM

Crap, condolences to both you and LH.

Stength

silverhopes posted 7/10/2013 22:45 PM

(((OKM, LH, Eva, Neo)))

cinnamongurl posted 7/10/2013 23:25 PM

OKM & LH hugs ×infinity!!!
My heart broke for you both reading this! I am so sorry for your losses! What an unbelievably awful thing for you both to go through!! My deepest condolences! We also have no children, just a kitty... no not JUST a kitty, they are never "just pets" they are beloved members of the family. They are best friends. They teach us to love, and to care for others, without judgement. They are always with us, even when they are gone. My thoughts and heart go out to you both! I cannot say how sorry I am for you guys! *hugs*

Eta: what beautiful pictures!

[This message edited by cinnamongurl at 11:27 PM, July 10th (Wednesday)]

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