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Newest Member: Duped12times (45727)

User Topic: oh happy joy a new trigger for me!!
shatteredheart7
♀ 39734
Member # 39734
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So my H was working on the computer this morning and he comes in and says that he is going to run out for a while. He needs to get started on asking for donations for the kids HS band car show. This will be his 4th yrs running it. Anyway, that's when it hits me. He is on his long break this week (he works 12 hour rotating shifts so once a month he is off for 7 days straight) the first two yrs he was running this car show was during the A! I can remember him being gone, out getting donations while on long break, for an entire day! Perfect opportunity to stop by and see the whore! I started to lose it. He very calmly asked me if I wanted to go with him... I beat him to the car!

Is this rollercoaster ever going to end? I'm getting sick of riding it!!!!!!


Me~40
FWH~46
Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!

Posts: 240 | Registered: Jul 2013
canteat
♀ 39636
Member # 39636
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He very calmly asked me if I wanted to go with him... I beat him to the car!

I am sorry that you found a new trigger-I fear that I will find new ones after new ones but "yay" that you both handled the trigger well.


Me: BW 42
Him: WH 47
Married 9 years-together 18
Dday: 6/17/2013 EA/PA(EA 1yr/PA 6mos-OW out of state)
status: Starting R 7/22/13

Posts: 151 | Registered: Jun 2013
RidingHealingRd
♀ 33867
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He very calmly asked me if I wanted to go with him... I beat him to the car!

This made me

You WH did the right thing...good job.

6mo post Dday and we moved, living 1600+ miles away. This alone eliminated so many triggers but sadly not all of them.

Do eliminate any trigger that you can...the less you are faced with, the better.

After 2.5yrs I can honestly say that the roller coaster doesn't fly into my world all that often. I was one hot mess for what seemed like eternity. I did not even recognize the person IP had become and thought that the *old me* was gone forever. Not true...I have been lucky, my WH has been a model WH. Life is 100x better today and I recognize me again.

Hang in there, it will get easier.


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 4 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Nov 2011
shatteredheart7
♀ 39734
Member # 39734
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, July 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I decided early on to face my triggers head on. I drive by her house daily, even though I could easily take another route. We bowl every week at the bowling alley where they use to be on the same team & league together. I went to the wildlife reserve where they use to meet in the summer every day for almost a month to walk the paths and take pictures where they would met up. But I'm just not ready to let him run around town with me not knowing where he is...that's still to much.

Glad I could give you a laugh!


Me~40
FWH~46
Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!

Posts: 240 | Registered: Jul 2013
RedRaven6500
♀ 39626
Member # 39626
Default  Posted: 3:37 AM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My Triggers: his business trips, Hawaii, he took all three of his LTPA's there. (guess I am never going to go there now, can't even stand listening to anything about Hawaii), High School Reunions since he had a long distance LTPA with an old class mate of ours, and when he calls me "babe" because almost every email I found he called his OW babe. If he says that to me I want to rip his face off.


BW: Me 42, WH: Him 42, Married: 22 years
DD: 21, DS: 20 both in college
DDay: 22 Oct 2011
Year PAs/EAs started: 2004, possibly 2003
OW: 3 serious long-distance PA/EA's, several casual PA's, some at the same time. Classy
In R

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jun 2013
shatteredheart7
♀ 39734
Member # 39734
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Blking, completely off subject here but I just seen where you started R on our 7 yr anniversary.

OK, so I over slept this morning and I haven't had enough coffee yet. So I am easily amused. Lol


Me~40
FWH~46
Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!

Posts: 240 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 6

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