SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So, I have been in contact with the OW over the adoption of OC. I initiated contact, as she has been married for 2 years to the guy that she has been claiming for 3 "adopted OC" (not to OUR knowledge!).

I contacted her to ask her is adoption is really what she wants for OC, and she said yes, always had, she just "thought you guys [me and FWH] would fight the adoption". I assured her no, FWH told her from the beginning that he had no interest in having a child with her, and he would never had fought OC being adopted by the man she thinks is her father.

So, we hired an attorney who is doing all of the paperwork.

I had actually started to feel sorry for OW, and think to myself, "Is this what FORGIVENESS feels like?" during our days of IMing. I thought to myself "It has been 6+ years since the affair. OW is almost 30, I bet she's grown up a lot and maybe is even remorseful over all of the hurt she has caused..."

The next day, while IMing, OW changes her picture to an OLD one, taken during the affair, of her and my stepdaughter.

My stepdaughter who I was very, VERY close to until the affair (FWH exposed her to it, she was a teenager and found OW to be "cool") and now we no longer speak, and stepD doesn't see FWH.

Stupid, petty fucking bitch.

Now I just got off of the phone with the lawyer and find out OW refuses to pay for ANY of the adoption, even a measly $20 for the criminal background checks for her and her husband.

Are you serious?!

We'll pay it, I know financially it will be better in the long run to just get it done and over with, but jeez, talk about adding on the insult to injury. We payed the huge attorney retainer fee, the filing fee (several hundred dollars in itself), they won't even pay $20?

The attorney says OW claims to be "out of work". Well, last time child support was figured OW was making over $16 an hour, so I certainly don't know if that is true.

(We're both currently students, FWH at a technical trade school and myself working on my master's, so we're not exactly rolling in dough).

Well, when this is all over with, OW will need the new birth certificate. OW really, REALLY wants this done before school starts, so that OC doesn't have OUR last name, which amuses me, because when OC was born OW was SOOO DESPERATE to be associated with our last name (a famous last name in Hollywood, but my FIL was adopted, which OW does not know, so there is NO relation to us, not even far, distant relatives ) she even made OC a social networking site with "(Our last name) Baby" and sent it to everyone she could, amassing many, many friends/connections for the profile. Pathetic.

Well, OW, you reap what you sow, and if OC has to go to school and be called by OUR last name, and you have to explain to OC why her last name is different from yours and your husband's, that's on you, you dumb sow.

Guh, the nerve of this woman.

Someone on here has a quote to the effect that 'you're not dealing with normal people'. I apologize because I know I've misquoted, but you get the idea.

That is truly an all time low. I feel for you. What a horrible, petty thing to do, posting the pic and the rest. Thankfully, you will be rid of her soon! Happy dance!

I feel for the little girl too. What a mother.

The absolute worst part of the betrayal was the dissolution of the relationship I had with my stepdaughters (all adults now). We were very close, and were beginning to become close again after the affair when OW found them (via social networking) and told them she was pregnant with OC--she hadn't even told FWH yet! They wanted their dad to "do the right thing" and raise OC with OW. He didn't, and they have held it against him ever since.

My stepdaughters are still very involved with OW. She has inserted herself so deeply into their lives. She has many recent pictures of her and them, I'm sure (my youngest stepD was even a bridesmaid in her wedding, for crying out loud), so it was an especially cruel move of Ow to change her picture to one that I would recognize as being taken DURING the affair.

But, that is OW. This is her pattern. She has done some cruel, cruel things to hurt me (and my COM), and I will be so glad to finally be rid of her in ONE way, which is FWH not being legally tied to her any longer.