I have been lurking here for the last couple of months and now desperately need some advice.
I had been divorced for a year (suspected EA, possible PA but no proof-didn't know about SI then) when I met my current boyfriend.
We seemed to really hit it off and got along really well. After about 6 months he moved in with me, since we were inseparable. Since that time, I've discovered that he is a compulsive liar and has been chatting/sexting/webcam online all the time. He lies about things that are so ridiculous and not necessary to lie about.
We have had 4 DDays since the beginning of April 2013. The most recent one was May 28 and I told him that I was done with the relationship and wanted him to move out.
He seemed super remorseful and very genuine so I did agree to give him another chance at R. We cannot afford counseling, so we have been reading some books to determine the cause (thank you SI) of his chatting/sexting/webcamming (is that even a word?). Since then, the relationship has been much better and he seemed to have a good understanding of why he was engaging in this behavior and what he could do to avoid it.
Until last night. I have employed the 'trust by verify' stance--remember compulsive liar. I have Sprint so the texting is inaccessible to me (other than the total number of texts sent-no times or phone numbers). In April, I was busted after installing the spyware on his phone-the antivirus software found it. But a couple of weeks ago, I found out about Google Voice--has anyone else used this? It's FANTASTIC-I could see all the text content, calls, and listen to any voicemails. Feeling really good about this because every thing was on the up and up.....until last night.
He started texting this old girlfriend of his....very flirty. This continued today with them making arrangements to meet this afternoon. So he calls me and tells me he's going to be out of town on a quick roofing job (he's been unemployed most of the time that I've known him--huge red flag).
Thanks to Google Voice, I knew THAT wasn't true so I printed up the messages and met him (shocker when I drove up!). Handed him the print out and told him I wanted my apartment key back--which I did not get. So we had words and he told me to leave the job site, which I did.
I am just absolutely gutted-have not eaten much. I can't believe that he would do this and I'm mad at myself for believing him. The worst part is that I can't legally make him leave MY apartment until the lease is up at the end of August. He is on the lease as a roommate and I was told by management that he has to take himself off the lease......what kind of craziness is this?
Then to top off this lovely situation, I called someone who has known him a long time and found out some other distressing news. Apparently, he can get really nasty and is not above calling the police and making up stories in order to get items that he is not entitled to. He did this to the friend that I talked to today regarding a laptop. She even had the receipt showing that she paid for it and the police made her give it to him!!!! WTF?
So, in addition to being extremely upset about the cheating, living with him until August, now I have to worry that he's going to try to take my stuff. He moved in with me and all the items in the apartment are mine.
What am I going to do? I can't believe I'm finding myself in this position.