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Jen posted 7/10/2013 18:58 PM

Pretty uneventful overall. It was sooooo good to go home I miss CO so much !!!!! The weather is just to die for, compared to here. Seriously, if satan decides to come back he is coming up through Lawton. Such a weird feeling to get on a plane in mild 80 degree weather and step off into the firey humid pits of hell ....

My mom is doing great, my sister is the same. So is our relationship(sis), whole other Springer show there.

Anyway, on Saturday night I went to the BH's house(his Xw is the OW in my sitch. My Xh and him had been friends since grade school), I have not been there since Aug. 2009.

I wanted to throw up, and crawl in a hole when I saw the laundry room. One of many places they had "fun". I really wanted to burn/destroy the room, I did manage to resist somehow. Barely.

It was good to see him. He is so much more relaxed and at ease with himself and his life, you can just see it pouring off him in waves. Was a very good feeling to see that, and I am so happy he is doing so well. He is engaged to the girl he has been with, since about 1 year after his separation/D from the whore.

His new girl has an 11yr DD and she is just so sweet, and well mannered there is noway she is a kid. She is old/wise beyond her years. Her and the BH get along wonderfully, they don't miss a beat and the respect is mutual between them.

I did not get to see the boys, they are with whore till this Sunday. From everyone I hear they are doing ok. They are 7 & 9 now I believe.

Was very weird being at his house again. The last time I was there was with Xh and I thought all was fine in my world. It felt weird not having him around me, laughing/joking with us all. BH's sister, is one of my closest friends, I went with her and her family. Anyway I made it through, reclaimed another place from my past and moved on.

BH's new girl is super sweet, nad very kind. Total 180 from the whore. I like her, I think her and the BH will be good together.

Sad news. The BH has a cousin who has been like a brother to him all his life. This cousin was also a friend to my Xh since grade school, one of the many friendships he gave up for the whore. I found out while I was there that this cousin's M ended not to long ago due to his having an A. I am just heart broken. They ended things much better than we all did, but ...... and they have 2 small children as well. When I asked him about it his reply "Just one of those things that happens"

Anyway, cousin and I were always close as friends. It was easy for me to talk to him, hang out ect. He was just somfy to be around. No pressure for anything, silence was ok, or joking/talking was ok. We had tons in common and we just got along, we got eachother. And now ..........

There was NEVER any kind of inappropriate feelings between us, EVER. We just clicked, I will miss his friendship that way.

Mom and I drove through the burn scars from Waldo & Black Forest fires ... My god, just no adequate words.

Anyway, that was pretty much it, lot's of mom time and just doing what I like, being home. I did go to my FAVORITE book store EVER !!! Poor Richard's and spent an embarrassing amount of money there, and spent hours just lounging there. AWESOME !!!!

Sad in AZ posted 7/10/2013 19:08 PM

Welcome back I'm glad you had a good time. I've always wanted to visit CO.

Any thoughts about moving back there, bb?

Jen posted 7/10/2013 19:12 PM

Soon. I am here helping with gma. She has Alzheimer's and my aunt/uncle live with her. So when they need to get away I go stay with her.

When her time comes I will go home.

It was hard, everyone kept asking me "Is Lawton so much better than here ?"

The answer is no, a very resounding NO. I ran from the whole horrible sitch and to get away from the memories. I'm no longer staying away because of them.

So progress ...

TryingToBreathe posted 7/10/2013 19:32 PM

Progress, BB! You've come a long way.

So sad about those fires. Hope they didn't hit any of your loved ones.

Jen posted 7/10/2013 20:09 PM

No the fires missed mine. Some were evac'ed but overall, okay.

FaithFool posted 7/10/2013 22:20 PM

Happy you can consider moving back when the time comes. Sounds lovely.

jo2love posted 7/11/2013 09:19 AM

I'm glad you had a nice time visiting with your mom.

I'm so sorry about the fires.

Williesmom posted 7/11/2013 20:21 PM

I missed you! Another step in the healing.

Jen posted 7/12/2013 13:29 PM

Wait !!! You live in CO ?!?!? How did I miss this ....

Next time ...