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Flatlined123 posted 7/11/2013 05:01 AM

I discovered H affair.

I'm not sure how I feel. Seems like any other day. For that I'm thankful. I think I'm getting better.

But...I want H to recognize its significance in our history. Just a long hug and an I love you would be enough. I may not want this next year, but this year I do.

He's got a lot on his mind with work right now. I'm pretty sure this is the last thing he's thinking about.

I'm just glad I'm in a good place with this right now.

MartlArts posted 7/11/2013 10:14 AM

Glad you're in a good place. I agree you should find a way to remind him that it's an antiversary for you, and I hope he steps up with what you need.

jo2love posted 7/11/2013 10:14 AM

(((Flatlined)))

It's a wonderful feeling as we heal and dates hurt less. Sounds like you are on a good path of healing. Sending you strength.

mrcpu posted 7/11/2013 10:29 AM

Ah.. the Antiversary. I marked it monthly for the first 2 or 3 months after D-Day. I imagine on the 22nd of December this year I will be marking it again. This time though, I hope to be marking the Antiversary as 1 year of successful reconciliation and a better marriage.

Tell your H how you feel. That you need him to show you that he is still sorry and grateful you kept him.

Rebreather posted 7/11/2013 18:41 PM

Has he remembered yet? How are you hanging in?

We acknolwedged very dday antiversary for the first 5. The we agreed that for this year, year 6, we'd try to ignore it. I couldn't. I really tried! He did totally forget which in some ways are good and bad. Eventually I pointed it out, explained why I was stabby, and he did all the right things.

These days mean a lot to me. Be sure to honor what you need, Flatlined - even this far out. Hope you are doing ok!

Flatlined123 posted 7/11/2013 19:30 PM

Hubs called me as soon as he knew I'd be out of work He didn't mention it though.

When I got home he gave me the best hug and awesomist kiss in front of the kids who said "Eeewwww"

I asked him what that was for and he said it was because he was glad to be able to come home to me. He realizes how things could have been so different, so wrong if I had choose not to stay.

That was all I needed to hear. Then he had a promised whisper in my ear for tonight!

Oh, yeah. We are so in a much better place.

[This message edited by Flatlined123 at 7:35 PM, July 11th (Thursday)]

sisoon posted 7/12/2013 09:34 AM

Neat!

1Faith posted 7/12/2013 09:45 AM

Dear Flatlined

Regardless if he is busy or not I think you need to let him know how you are feeling.

He most likely isn't going to remember because he wants to forget the pain and hurt it caused.

For the first year every month on the 16th (DDay) I would tell my husband this is going to be a really hard day for me.

The one year anniversary, I told him although I am in a good place I really hate this day.

My husband responded that he was sorry, thanked me for standing by him and gave me a huge hug.

Embrace your feelings because they matter.

Simply say "It's been a year today. I am proud of how far we have come but it is still a hard day for me"

Good luck and I am so glad you are in a good place.

(((hugs)))

flygirl96 posted 7/12/2013 14:47 PM

Happy for you both.