Oh, how I so feel just like you. I too pleaded, cried and begged for him to work on himself and go to counseling. He just can't do the hard work, like your WH. My WH also did the transparency thing, but like your WH, he did not and will not and I believe cannot open up and discuss his A and the why, etc...
So, that being the case, I decided that I don't need him, I don't need to be disrespected and ignored. I've given my WH 3 years to fix himself and take an active part in helping heal the M, himself and me. To this day, he is still worried about him and his impending loneliness.
Well, you need to 180 and get on with your life and your two wonderful boys. Listen, my 15 yr old son is more of a man than WH will ever be. Sad to say, but it's true. My decision to D also was to remove my DS from his toxic father.
Do what you have to do for YOU.
Many hugs to you honey.