I have a group of friends from high school that we have monthly dinners with. Almost all have been married for like 5 or 6 years, but nobody has had kids until recently. 2 babies and 2 pregnant = 4 babies within about a year, out of a group of 7 (including me).
I am over the moon happy for all of my friends, and love the babies and am excited for the new ones. But there's a little part of me that still reverts to that depressed, post D-Day feeling. It's that hard to explain, feeling left out, and like other people have what I thought I had, and how did my life get so screwed up. Hearing them talk about future play dates doesn't help either I guess it's mostly that we all got married around the same time so I always assumed we'd be having kids around the same time, and now I feel left out and that I'm behind everyone else's timetable, like the D has set me back.
Blech. Ok, I'm done with that now. Sometimes I think I've done too good of a job pretending WXH never existed... Anyway, just wanted to get it out. Moving on.
"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
I try to stay positive about it and tell myself that when I am ready for kids I will be in a much better place than where I was with XH or where I currently am.
Since I'm in my mid 40s, I have seen a lot of my HS and college friends' marriages come to an end. I just did it sooner than they did.
Kinda sad my mind went there first...
[This message edited by dead_inside at 2:47 PM, July 11th (Thursday)]
but there is no time limit on happiness
We never know the suffering others may be experiencing but not showing even as they are excited about their babies.
But I know what you mean. I would have loved to have kids but I never felt secure enough with XH (now I really know why) and then I was too old.
May you find your own kind of happiness whether that involves future babies of your own or not.
The thing is, I have to remind myself that everybody is on a journey of healing from something...they just may not be open about it, they won't paste it on facebook so you may not know about it, but just about everyone is traveling a similar, difficult path. We know ours, we may not be aware of their difficulty.
Moving on the path is all we can do and all we need to do...
[This message edited by better4me at 6:10 PM, July 11th (Thursday)]
Sometimes it hurts and I feel lonely in my experiences. I try to remind myself that I'm a trail blazer.
[This message edited by hurtinky at 9:02 PM, July 11th (Thursday)]
At least it's not the "everybody else's life is perfect" feeling, because I've been there and that sucks. Logically I know everyone takes different paths in life, but it's frustrating when it seems like ALL my friends are on the same path and I'm trying to catch up.
Oh well, I'm over it. At least I get to sleep through the night