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Oh the inlaw issue ;(

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whyreally posted 7/11/2013 11:50 AM

I hate it... Wh and I live seperately.. I know it's odd.. I know we are not divorced... I know we are still married but live seperately... We will have a month that is awesome... And then three that suck.. Because we don't live together my kiddos and I are off the emotional roller coaster... This works for us! Sometimes it causes me hurt.. I don't need 2x4's... My wh has not taken my kiddos EvER in the last two years... I did not have my kiddos to not have them for. A month out of the summer and every other weekend... So for the time being this works....
So the issue... We go on vacation and my mil and fil treat me great... I have a sil who treats my kiddos like crap... What did my kids do to deserve this?! She also goes out o her way to treat me like crap... So all of my bil and sil decide to go on a day trip leaving mil in charge of the kids... My mil asks me if I want to go... (Wh working) I'm no but thanks for thinking of me... My one bil that I like asks me if I want to go... I decline stating that I don't want to leave mil and fil with that many young kids... But Dang it hurts to be excluded.. They have talked about his day trip for the last week and no one invited me... I know my wh and I live seperately but we raise our kids together... Go in vacations together and I am comfortable staying with his whole extended family for two weeks with wh only being there two days... Then this... This sucks... I have been a part of the family for 14 years and to be left out sucks... Sorry for the rambling ;( already crying don't need any 2x4's... Single handily raisin five young kids and working full time is hard enough

[This message edited by whyreally at 10:46 PM, July 11th (Thursday)]

confused615 posted 7/11/2013 12:08 PM


Im sorry you feel left out. Im sorry your SIL is a bitch. Have you talked with your WH about the way she treats you and the kids? What does he say about it? Does he intend to *do* anything about it?

[This message edited by confused615 at 12:08 PM, July 11th (Thursday)]

sri624 posted 7/11/2013 12:19 PM

hugs to you!! i know you are going through a lot. but i wanted to commend you for keeping it all are doing great taking care of your family, and doing what is best for your children.

in laws can be so foul, cant they? not very nice that they left you out. but since they did, and your husband is not there...maybe you can do something fun just with the kids?

unfortunately what happens a lot of the times with inlaws is that they will side with their blood. since you and your husband dont live together, or things might be "up in the air", they may not include you in things that they normally would have. sucks i know...but it is true...even with the kids. and it really is up to your husband to set that expectation with his family. you know what mean?

you know what i would do if i were you? i'd say fuck it. i would take my kids and have a good time with them...and focus on our little family...and my own personal extended family. you might have relationships with his family, and that is good, but they have shown that they will leave you out. so, to protect my feelings and my kids, i would just keep my distance...and do my own thing with my own kids. nc means no new hurts, you know what i am saying? it will always be ugly when you are separated from your just will. if you and your h decide to reconcile, live together again, then i am sure things will be different.

but for now, take your babies and do your own thing. forget about his family for now. you see?

whyreally posted 7/11/2013 22:50 PM

Thank you so much for your replies.. It has been forever since I have cried about anything... I allowed myself 15 to cry about it and then I let it go... It just hurts and makes me angry! The kids and I did have a wonderful day and I left tonight so I don't have to see them all tomorrow! My wh has been wonderful this last week and he said he will call all of his family right now and talk to them... I was very thankful for that but I don't want to give them the pleasure of knowin how much it hurt that they left me out... I just asked that he makes sure that it doesn't happen in front of him... I really do appreciate your replies...

guarded posted 7/12/2013 11:20 AM

Your MIL and BIL both invited you to go. You declined. You weren't left out. Am I missing something I should see?

whyreally posted 7/12/2013 12:55 PM

My mil was not going... It was more of a... You can go with them if you wanted to... At that point my one bil did inquire if I wanted to go... I was referring to how my kiddos and I are treated by certain in laws... Not all of them

kiki1 posted 7/17/2013 14:41 PM


I understand. my il's have not spoken to me since dday.

Though i'm glad they are no longer in my life, i was still rejected by them as well and it hurts.

I thought i had some semblance of an extended family. It came as quite a shock.

dont bother with them unless you absolutely have to. it will hurt less.

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