wtf?? How insane does your life have to get that you want to polygraph your freaking HUSBAND. ~ OldCow18
mp, for me too, it would all be retrievable. Wh is a different story. He can never remember anything. I don't know how much is due to his abusive childhood or it's just a convenience for him to not have to remember. Either way, I think 5 years is more than enough time to have worked some of this crap out, and sat down and put some real thought into trying to piece things together.
dameia, I don't think the A was a deal breaker if we were moving in the right direction. The last few years he has had to work a ton of overtime, so he constantly uses a lack of time as an excuse for not working on things. We've started counseling 4 times, and it never lasts more than a few months.
I said early on that I didn't think he was really interested in putting in the work necessary, he said he is, but here we are 5 years later...
Right now on my list - a timeline, counseling together, not just IC and I want to actually talk about the As in counseling (I know I, we need help actually communicating about it), no sex until I'M ready.
I have access to his phone, etc. He seems fine with the non-emotional requirements. It's the stuff that he needs to put real time, thought, and work into that seems to be the problem.
It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown