It happened....
I forgave him!!!
After his latest IC session he told me about the hypothetical situation dr presented (what if OW showed up after all this time at our door and said A started again 3 months ago). He asked what my reaction would be, worried that just her showing up may be the final straw. I realized with my answer (call police and not even acknowledge since we know now that she is a sociopath and I know she would be lying. We both have find friends on our phones so I know where he has been) where I was on my path.
I had reached a new level. No triggers, no anger. I trust him...99%....won't ever be 100 again. It was then I realized, at some point I have already forgiven him. I looked at my own actions and discovered it. I look at his actions and they match his words.
So I told him last night. He hugged me and began crying, and then I began to cry. He still said he will forever be making sure I don't regret giving us a chance, apologized for hurting me so badly, and swearing he would never ever cause me a reason to cry in pain like that ever again,
We are still working on us in MC to keep strengthening our M. But the focus there is on US. He is still going to IC to completely deal with his issues so he is never 'that man' again. Facing his demons head on.
Just in a really good place today 
