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thecosmogirl posted 7/11/2013 20:52 PM

...since my little world fell apart and I'm feeling well :)......well, as well as I can.
There are still tears daily. And I check the phone log almost daily even though I've been with him almost every second since June 14th.
I think I have the all the dates in order now. I just checked them from when he says it started and it all checks out. I'm one of those that has to know it all and keep going over it until it isn't shocking anymore.
I grilled him on some phone numbers that I didn't know and he showed me who they were without even the slightest hesitation.
I have some triggers and he has been totally great when I flip out.
I think part of how well we are doing is that we have the luxury of being together all the time. If I had a job outside of our business, I know I would not be this far along.
Well, that and he did pull his head out pretty soon after Dday. I know that this site was crucial in that. He has read every article I've sent him and has read in the Healing Library also.
He gave me log ins to everything, put a GPS on his phone for me and seems to know when I have a trigger or just about to and helps me through it.
I got to hand it to him (kind of, he IS a lying cheat!!! I still know that!) but, he puts up with the crazy outbursts and has not once told me I was crazy or got defensive...this after the disclosure letter....he was a bit defensive before that.

I don't even know what this post is about, lol
I'm just glad this place is here for me to write down my random thoughts :)

Peace and strength to all the BS tonight

hopefulmother posted 7/11/2013 23:08 PM

I am so glad you found this place so early in the R (and that you have a guy who is working on it with you). It is a bumpy road, enjoy the serenity while it lasts.

Getting to Happy posted 7/12/2013 00:14 AM

((((thecosmogirl))))

I am glad you are feeling better.

Keep posting, we are here and we are listening.

Skan posted 7/12/2013 19:33 PM

Listen, you need to post when you have good things as well as when you need support! People need to hear about the good things as well. (((hugs)))

thecosmogirl posted 7/12/2013 21:24 PM

Thanks :)
I have surprised myself with just how much inner strength I have. Thanks in no small part to SI.
I have been so physically ill for so long I find some comfort knowing my mental health is helping me tread on.
I try to run in the mornings and when I first started I would throw up after a half mile. Now I can go a mile to a mile and a half before I throw up, lol. Still progress and I find I'm calmer throughout the day if i run even if I have triggers.

[This message edited by thecosmogirl at 9:25 PM, July 12th (Friday)]